Source of All Evil: Pink Ribbon
by crazy novelist-san
Summary: Naruto is convinced that the source of all evil is contained within a small pink ribbon and from what happens to the poor guy he might actually be right on this one. SasuxNaru! Rating HAS gone up for a reason. Chapter 9 up. Review and I update faster!
1. Prologue

**Source of all evil: Pink Ribbon  
By: Shozetsku  
Authoress Notes/Warnings/Summery:  
**Novelist: Naruto do disclaimer!  
Naruto: No way!  
Novelist: -holds out pink ribbon- Source Of All Evil! Source Of All Evil!  
Naruto: -runs from evil ribbon- Fine! Novelist doesn't own Naruto or the pink ribbon, she found it.  
Novelist: Shut up, don't tell them that! In revenge this will be a SasuxNaru!  
Naruto: You said it didn't have to be!  
Novelist: Muh-ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!

SasuxNaru-ness later, bashing of the color pink, Sakura bashing, cursing, and basic insanity  
Naruto is convinced that the source of all evil is contained within a small pink ribbon and from what happens to the poor guy he might actually be right on this one... not sure if it's an AU or not yet...

**Prologue:** Valentines Day gifts

_Valentines Day: _

"Sakura-chan!" Said pink haired ninja winced at the sound of her name being called. Before she had even turned around she knew it was Naruto. And sure enough when she finally did turn there was the orange clad ninja running towards her with a red package in his hand. Sakura's face fell, she prayed to whoever was up there that that package wasn't for her; that Naruto would be asking for her support as he plucked up his courage to give it to Hinata. She had only wanted one valentine, and that was from Sasuke.

Indeed she had already thrown out the bouquet of flowers Rock Lee had given her. He walked off looking really down, but this is because she had thrown them out right in front of him. it didn't really matter to her as long as she got her valentine from Sasuke. But she didn't have a long time to think about this as Naruto drew nearer. He stood in front of her for a few seconds catching his breath, still breathing hard he handed her the package, still bent double.

The package was very neatly wrapped; Naruto had obviously put effort into it. There was a card as well, it sang a cute little song Sakura could not name and he had even signed it in his best handwriting. When she gently removed the paper (because it was really nice paper) she revealed a box of dark blue, when she lifted the lid she revealed it held ten or so chocolates. No, wait; on closer inspection the one in the very center wasn't a candy but another box about the size of one. When she lifted this box she saw a seam running along the center. Inside were two silver cherry blossom earrings and a matching necklace charm.

Naruto was looking hopefully at Sakura, his facial expression screamed, "Do you like it? Do ya?" And she did, She couldn't help but love the gift he had given her. She smiled said thank you and even gave him a small (if forced) peck on the cheek. Naruto had a dreamy look on his face as he walked (actually it was more like swayed) down the road. Sakura liked the earrings so much that she put them on right away. She felt as if nothing could get her down. But it did happen.

That evening she was foaming at the mouth (practically, not literally... yet...) in rage. Sasuke, HER Sasuke, hadn't gotten her a valentine. Hell, he hadn't even said "Hello," to her! She was so mad she started ripping up anything she could get her hands on. When she had calmed down a little bit she looked at the box of chocolates Naruto had given her. Now that she thought about it he had probably eaten one by mistake and had to do something to make no one notice. And those earrings and that charm! They probably weren't real at all! He probably got them dirt-cheap! Naruto mad her so mad she felt sick! The whole reason she was in a bad mood was all because of stupid Naruto! (Wait, I thought it was that Sasuke didn't care enough to give her the time of day? Huh?)

In truth the earrings and charm **were** real silver, but they were of low quality because they were all Naruto could afford and still make rent that month. And the chocolate that had been removed he had wrapped in clear plastic and tied it to give to Hinata, whom he had gone to, to ask for support to give the gift to Sakura and give her, her gift. But of course Sakura doesn't find this out...

_1 day to St. White's Day:_

"Arrgh! Stupid Naruto! Because Sasuke didn't give me a valentine and HE did I have to give HIM a present for White Day instead of MY Sasuke!"

Sakura, being of much forehead and little brain, had forgotten that she had to give a return gift to those whom had given her a valentine last month. She had no idea what to get him, so she decided to go for a walk around the shops. She wandered aimlessly for about a half hour before a bright glimpse of color caught her eye. She did a double take; it was coming from a display of different colored ribbons in the front of a craft shop. She looked around the display for a ribbon she liked, temporarily forgetting about White Day and Naruto. She found a deep hot pink ribbon about and inch and a ½ wide and marveled at how it caught the sunlight.

She was just thinking how nicely this would compliment her hair when two girls walked by discussing in loud voices what they were going to get some such boys for White Day when she finally remembered why she had been shopping in the first place. Her face fell, it was getting closer to dinnertime and all she had done was waste time with a pink ribbon. Humph, like she could give THAT to Naruto. Then she looked up, her face was taking on a new expression, what if she **did** give the ribbon to Naruto? But he would never accept it... but what if she told him some made up story? What if he actually went around Konoha wearing it? Her face broke out into a truly evil smile, she had a length of ribbon cut, and even paid to have it put into a special material bag with spirals on it and a draw string that she also found in the craft shop.

That night she spent making up a story that would convince Naruto to wear the ribbon. She memorized the story by heart and went to sleep with the gift on her nightstand still smirking evilly. The next morning she got up, dressed, and ready she ran out the door, bag in hand, and set out in the direction of Naruto's house. She saw Naruto at a distance (like he's hard to miss in that bright orange jumpsuit) and hitched a sweet face on.

"NAAARUTOOO!" She called running toward him waving. Poor, deceived, Naruto thought he could have fainted at the sight of the beaming face of his long time crush running excitedly towards him for once. After going through the pleasantries she handed him the bag and watched his face, even if he refused to wear the gift the look on his face when he would see what she had gotten him would be enough. It took all she had not to burst out laughing at the scandalized look he had. But it didn't stop Inner Sakura from busting a gut in hysterics. But Sakura put a serious face on and told him the elaborate (and utter bullshit) story of how it was her favorite and lucky hair ribbon before the one Ino had given her. How it held a lot of meaning for her and how hard it was to give it to him. AND, if he didn't wear it she would never forgive him, ever. After he promised vigorously that he WOULD wear it she tied it around his neck and put the bow she had made in the back.

Sakura even walked with Naruto to the training grounds, Naruto thought that Sakura was really starting to like him but she really wanted to see every ones reactions to her White Day present. When they finally arrived at the training grounds Sakura could no longer hide her smirk. And Naruto was so happy at the thought that his feelings were returned that he hadn't even noticed the stares, double takes, and whispers that were following him more then usual. Sasuke saws them approach but didn't react more then to roll his eyes. then his eyes widened in shock and disbelief, he did a noticeable double take. He gaped at the big pink thing around Naruto's neck and temporarily for got his composure. If he thought Naruto was a dead last moron before that was nothing to what h thought of him now. Judging by Sakura's insufferably smug look she had gotten h to wear the-the thing. Oh dear god, it was a pink ribbon. He privately wondered what she had said to get him to wear it. But he, being the superior Uchiha that he was, quickly regained his outer composure. Although he did steal glances at Naruto's newest fashion statement. (and what statement is that? "I'm a metro!"? or is it, "I am so like totally in touch with my feminine side.") When Kakashi FINALLY did show up he too noticed Naruto's newest accessory but he mentally shrugged it off reminding himself it's not any of his business what people choose to wear in public. And with that he began the lesson.

**End Prologue. **

Well? Did you like it? Much love and plushies to reviewers at any time through out the fic! Chapter 1 is already in the works so expect it in about, if not less then, a week.

I would _**LOVE**_ feedback!


	2. The Curse of the Pink Ribbon

**Source of all evil: Pink Ribbon  
By: Shozetsku  
Disclaimer/Warnings/Authoress Notes:  
**Novelist: Sasuke do disclaimer!  
Sasuke: It's your disclaimer Aho, you do it.  
Novelist: -holds out pink ribbon- Source Of All Evil! Source Of All Evil!  
Sasuke: -jumps to safe distance- Watch where you fling that thing! Okay, okay! The Aho, here doesn't own Naruto, or the pink ribbon she found it. Like that cheap bastard she is.  
Novelist: Shut up, or I'll make you kiss Sakura!  
Sasuke: You're worse then the Dobe...  
Novelist: Oh, Saakuraa!  
Sasuke: Shit! –covers Novelist's mouth- Shut up! I thought you were joking!

SasuxNaru-ness later, bashing of the color pink, Sakura bashing, cursing, and basic insanity

Most of you expressed utmost laothing for The Pink haired demon... She will get her just desserts butI want to know how you want her to suffer! so review me with (practical) ways to punish her in later chapters. I will try to please all but they have to be a little realistic.

**Chapter 1:** The Curse of the Pink Ribbon (not to be confused with 'Curse of the Black Pearl' which was an awesome movie!)

Yes, it's probably not the best of ideas to walk around Konoha with a kunai in your hand, but when you do people tend to not make comments about you when you're within earshot. And when you are a teenage boy with a pink ribbon tied around your neck this is something that it is vital to save your personal dignity... and that is preferable to having whispers follow you wherever you go. Not that Naruto had any dignity to begin with, but you get the idea. The first day he walked around he was with Sakura and oblivious to the world. The next day he was acutely aware of the staring and whispers as soon as he started walking down the street. He ran up the outer wall of his apartment building to get an extra kunai. He decided to avod others as much as possible and took to jumping from roof top to roof top. Upon arriving at his intended destination he found Iruka's front door wide open. He shrugged and walked in, it wasn't unusual for Iruka to be so tired from teaching that he would leave the door open but it usually occured in the evenings. He walked in and looked around for that man whom always seemed to know what was going on and what advise to give to solve the problem. He heard movement down the hall and walked towards the noise. What he saw was NOT Iruka gently nurseing a wound he had recived from a stray shuriken.

More along the lines of KAKASHI gently nursing invisible wounds... with his toungue... all over Iruka's chest... OH-MY-GOD! Smack! Naruto had slapped his hand over his eyes and ducked back around the doorway. But the noise he made disrupted the two, well, more Iruka then Kakashi. (You know Kakashi, always a pervert, watched, not watched or otherwise -ahem- entertained.)

"Naurto?" Iruka asked from the other room, there were sounds of movement and a whining Kakashi so Naruto (hand still over his eyes) assumed that Iruka had begun pushing the other man off. However he didn't actually remove his hand. He tugged his shinobi headband over his eyes to free up his hands to cover his ears. He started screaming in his head every flavor of raman in an attempt to drown out the noise. When a hand touched Naruto's shoulder naruto flinched horribly, he felt the headband be pulled off his head and he saw a very apathetic Kakashi fixing his mask, Naruto's headband dangling from his arm. HIS headband was even more crooked then usual. Iruka did not look so disheveled, and even had the decency to look ashamed at being caught.

When Naruto had FINALLY calmed down enough to look at them he did so with a look of one who wished they had amnesia. Convincing Iruka that Naruto had NOT suffered TOO severe emotional damage was no easy task, but Kakashi is a stubborn man. Kakashi gently tossed Naruto's headband back to him, only Iruka had the decency to look ashamed of himself. As Naruto made rather more an ordeal then necessary about getting his Headband back on he thought of the one thing he most wanted to say. It wasn't his right to judge how his sensei's spent their time, and he really should have knocked, and the tension in the room made it hard to breathe. "Is **THIS** why your always late for eveything Kakashi sensei?" It was childish, stupid and yet conveyed that Naruto could have gone his whole life, not witnessed that EVER and died happy. To this statement Kakashi had no answer. Iruka however had many, all mumbled and inchoherent, they went somthing like this:

"I'm sorry you saw... Naruto, I... Oh, god we were caught... Naruto please don't tell... But you wouldn't... I'm, sorry you're not like that... Ishould have known... I KNEW we would get caught...Oh, god why?... Why me?... Wait... What am I talking about?Why Kakashi?..."

"HEY!" Kakashi glared at his lover with one eye, "What's that mean?" Iruka ignored him.

"I'm sorry Naruto, you had somthing to ask me before...that?"

Naruto sat in scilence, finally he said, very softly but firmly, "My rent." he got confused looks in answer "Price of my scilence, pay my rent this month." he told the calmly. Both men stared at him, utterly dumbstruck, but eventually nodded seeing that they didn't really have a choice in this matter.

"ButI really did have a reason to come by, Iruka-sensei." Naruto added quickly, and still sitting on the floor, he told them everything.His gift to Sakura, Sakura's return gift, the staring, Sasuke's double take and he finally came to the part where the asking for advise came in.  
"...And I know I promised Sakura-chan that I'd wear the ribbon, and she said she'd never speak to me againifI didn't wear it. But it's **PINK** and everyone is staring and whispering worse then ever and now their even laughing at me!" Naruto fisted his hands in his hair as though he was going to pullit out by the root's. "Iruka-sensei, what'll I do?"

Kakashi raised a finger in the air and tool a deep breathe to explain to Naruto that Sakura was more than likly lying through her teeth to makehim look like a fool. And if that was the case then the whole thing was pointless and he should burn the ribbon so when he became Hokage and it couldn't be used as blackmail... If he became Hokage. But Iruka put a hand (a little harder then was necessary) to his mouth, stopping him. "He asked the Dolphin not the Scarecrow, brainless." (yes I know, blatant _Wizard of OZ_ reference but I couldn't help it! ...I don't own that either so don't sue!)

"Well, from what you've told me Naruto you have two options. Keep your word or keep your dignity, it's up to you to decide." Kakashi stared at his scarred lover but said nothing. Naruto thought over what Iruka told him and didn't look happy. "Is there ANY way for me to keep both?" Iruka laughed a little, "It's your choice, wear or don't wear the ribbon, Ican't tell you what to do with your personal life, just what you could do."

Naruto thought this over too, (and it was hard work!) then he finally stood, thanked his sensei's, promised that he wouldn't breathe a word to anyone and left. As they watched him leave Kakashi looked quizzically at Iruka. "Sakura's doing it to be mean to Naruto, why didn't you tell him so? It would have saved him a good deal of trouble." Iruka shook his head, "You know as well as I Naruto wants nothing more then to have his feelings for Sakura returned, He gets few opportunities to be happy, so I want to be as happy as he can when he can. Even if it is a lie."

"It'll hurt more in the long run." Kakashi told him simply. Iruka nodded, "That may be true; butI think Naruto is for someone else and if that's true then it won't hurt as bad for as long."

Kakashi shook his head, "You're a hopeless romantic, do you now that?" Iruka smiled softly, "And what did you mean by 'What am I talking about? Why Kakashi?'"

Iruka blushed, "I-i was flustered." he said lamely. Kakahsi pulled his mask down again (All Kakashi fangirls -including Authoress-: DROOL!) to kiss Iruka softly. "It's a damn good thing you're drop-dead sexy, do you know that?" Iruka laughed out loud. Kakashi took advatage of this and proceeded to kiss Iruka, he was determinded to start over until he was back at the place he had left off with Iruka and continue from there...

END Chapter 1!

Yay! IrukaxKakashi-ness right off the bat! Poor Naruto, a straight guy walking in on that! But he got a month free from rent! But next chapter it gets worse I can assure you. Konohamaru will see Naruto's ribbon! That should be GOOD! But I can't decide weither to have Konohamaru loose all respect for Naruto or Copy him and wear a ribbon too! (but of a different color!) Or should I do both? FEEDBACK VITAL FOR NEXT UPDATE! Review me! I beg you! Reviews are what drives me to update!

...Oh, who do you want to do the disclaimer for later chapters? Next chapter Gaara! FEEDBACK! Review's make every Authoress' day from bad to good!


	3. Small Ninja, Big Problems

**Source of all evil: Pink Ribbon  
By: Shozetsku  
Disclaimer/Warnings/Authoress Notes:  
**Gaara: ...Let me get this straight, I'm supposed to be afraid of a small **pink** **_ribbon_**? -glare-  
Novelist: NO! You are supposed to be afraid of the source of all evil!  
Gaara: That's MY title... –BIGGER Glare-  
Gaara Fangirls (including Authoress): That is SOO true! -Squeal!-  
Novelist: Ok then, be afraid of it 'cause if you **don't** say the disclaimer I'll make you wear it!  
Gaara: ... What? ... -looks ready to kill Novelist-  
Novelist: I will make you wear the source of all evil if you don't say that I don't own Naruto, only my ideas.  
Gaara: But you just did it for me... I don't have to any more... -evil smirk-  
Novelist: You tricked me with your Bishie-ness! -points accusing finger at Gaara-  
Gaara: -raised eyebrow (ok, so he has no eyebrows! Give a bishie a break!)-

SasuxNaru-ness later, bashing of the color pink, Sakura bashing, cursing, and basic insanity

**Chapter 2:** Small Ninja, Big Problems

Naruto spent the week or so that followed thinking hard about what Iruka-sensei had told him. And all the while he wore the ribbon just to keep his promise to Sakura. Admittedly, his first two or three bows came out disgraceful when he had to do it himself, but he learned. He spent his off time contemplating the question on whether to wear the darn thing; as well as carefully avoiding Konohamaru like the eff-ing plague. He eventually decided on keeping his promise to Sakura in a (futile) attempt to endear her toward him (not that he had any idea what the word 'endear' meant or that that was what he was doing).

In defense of the staring he was bombarded with when he had no choice but to walk down a crowded street he took to reciting random things very loudly in his head. Whenever he saw an odd shaped rock or a section of fence that was horizontal he bolted, yes, he wouldn't deny he bolted either. He wanted to keep at least some of his dignity (again, not that he has any but he likes to dream.). But that more he avoided Konohamaru the more the younger boy perused him. It got to the point one day that Naruto was ready to rip his own hair out and/or hang the petulant boy by his effeminate ribbon. (again, not that he KNEW the words 'petulant' OR 'effeminate', but I do!)

But, it was not to last (because I say so!) and while he was practically screaming in his head, the items on his grocery list he wasn't paying any attention to what was going on around him. And Konohamaru grabbed the hem of his jacket and pulled, hard. Started out of his thoughts and caught unprepared, he fell on his ass.

"Grr! Konohamaru! How did you get behind me like that? And why the hell did you pull me down for?" Naruto was yelling rather loudly considering that on his butt he was two inches or so shorter that the boy and not even two feet away. But he was surprised and angry at being dragged out of important ninja thoughts, or at least that's how Konohamaru reasoned it out to himself.

"Gee, sorry Boss, I didn't mean to pull that hard, and I didn't sneak up on you honest!" Naruto glared disbelievingly at him. "Really! I'd tried that before see, and I thought 'this is getting nowhere' so I decided on a more direct approach (literally) and it worked. You musta really been concentrating hard because you never even noticed!"

Naruto stood up in the grandest way he could and began to dust himself off. He prayed that the sun would not catch the ribbon and make Konohamaru ask, "Hey Boss, what's that thing around your neck?" Yes, that was it exactly; he could almost hear the boy asking him in his head.

"Uhh, Boss? Did you hear me?" Oh god, oh no! If there was anyone up there who loved him _at all_ he prayed to them that that was his overactive imagination in his head and not actually coming out of the kid's mouth. Anyone who loved him up there however was clearly on a complimentary coffee and doughnuts break (AN: Hey, I happened to have extra!) and did not hear him.

"Uhh..." How was he supposed to answer this? Not a lie, if he were caught it would end up worse then the truth. And DEFINATLY not the truth because it was too mortifying. Part of the truth then, not lying, but not giving the whole story either. "It, it was a gift, for White Day." Konohamaru looked a little surprised, "Who would give you a pink ribbon to wear unless they really hated you? And if they hate you why wear it?"

"I got it from the girl I gave chocolates to on Valentines, duh! It was a return gift and it meant a lot to her so I promised I'd wear it."

Konohamaru blinked, "You couldn't PAY me to wear one." he said flatly, "Especially not pink."

"I-i-i-it's because it's pink that it's more meaningful!" It was Konohamaru's turn to look suspicious, "No, I mean it! You said so yourself you would wear one even if you were paid, but I would 'cause she means that much to me I'll wear it for her. Maybe, when you are a little older and have a girl who is special to you you'll understand what I mean." Naruto was spouting complete crap and prayed that the kid would buy it. Konohamaru looked like he was actually going to do so when a girl Naruto could only assume was in his class running up to them.

"Konohamaru-kun!" The girl was really red in the face even though it was a fine spring day, she had something behind her back.

"Here!" she said pushing a white box in his hands, "Happy early Birthday Konohamaru-kun." Konohamaru looked puzzled, he had made a point of NOT telling when his birthday was because he hated the special treatment, how had this girl known?

On the white box was a light blue ribbon tied to it. Konohamaru took the ribbon and tied it around his neck right away, Naruto watched as he tied the bow in the front first and moved it to the back, makinga sufficient bow in the back. Naruto decided that he would use that technique in future. when he opened the box to reveal a new (and rather nice) shirt inside. He thanked the girl, gave her a peck on the cheek, which made the girl go red in the face, and walked away holding hands. Konohamaru glanced back over his shoulder and said, "I think I understand now!"

Naruto was floored. Literally. He got up, dusted himself off for the second time in 6 minutes (not that he's counting). How come Sakura never let him hold her hand? Arrgh! That was soo unfair! Stupid lucky Konohamaru! He didn't even _have_ to wear the ribbon! And how old were those two anyways! The ribbon wasn't even PINK! Wait, what was he saying? He had made all that stuff up anyways, what did he care?

But, oh dear god he hoped he hadn't started a trend...

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A thousand thank you's to you who reviewed me! I love you all for your feedback! This has easily become my most popular story! T-T You all make me soo happy! BUT! some orders of business that i need feedback on! And they are as follows, in no perticular order:

Most of you expressed utmost loathing for The Pink haired demon... She will get her just desserts but I want to know how you want her to suffer! So, review me with (practical) ways to punish her in later chapters. I will try to please all but they have to be a little realistic.

Who do you want to do the disclaimer next? I need suggestions! I plead for reviews! And to those who like my story enough to put it on alert or favorites and don't bother to review me please do so... You know who you are, and I have all your names!

Thank you again!  
-Novelist!


	4. Conspiracy Theory: Sasuke Returns!

**Source of all evil: Pink Ribbon  
By: Shozetsku  
Disclaimer/Warnings/Authoress Notes:  
**Novelist: Neji, you shall do my disclaimer this chapter!  
Neji: Why?  
Novelist: Because you were destined to have this honor! -thinks this'll work-  
Neji: -raises eyebrows- You expect me to buy that?  
Novelist: I hoped so. BUT! If you don't do my disclaimer you will wear the source of all evil AND miss out on this limited edition, recently released, Chinese horoscope that I have here! -displays said horoscope-  
Neji: Gimme! Gimme! Gimme! Horoscope! Mine! -makes mad grabs for it-  
Novelist: Do Disclaimer!  
Neji: Novelist doesn't own anything beyond her ideas, alas it was not her fate to come up with Naruto and become famous and wealthy from it.  
Novelist: Geez, can't one of you bishies do my freakin' disclaimer without makin' me feel like shit?  
Neji: -not listening- I could have just used my Byakugan and not have had to say anything at all; I am a Hyuuga, I shouldn't be susceptible to bribery...

SasuxNaru-ness, bashing of the color pink, Sakura bashing, cursing, and basic insanity. Sasuke Reappears!

* * *

_**Warning!**_ - SasuNaruness starts in this chappie! Don't read if you don't like shonen-ai goodness!

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**Chapter 3:** Conspiracy Theory: Sasuke Returns! 

He was early, but he knew that, he liked to be early; it gave him time to think without any sort of interruptions as he would likely encounter if he was _not_ early and were in the company of his team mates awaiting their chronically late sensei. (three guesses who this is describing!) What was on the Uchiha's mind today? (Who guessed right?) That was a stupid question, what had been on the Uchiha's mind for the past two weeks or so? Killing Itachi? Good guess, but surprisingly wrong; Naruto and his pink ribbon? Actually that IS right, no matter how much he tried to shake the train of thought he couldn't for the life (A.N.: or smexyness!) of him. He noticed that Naruto wore it everyday without fail, and it didn't seem to get dirty or wrinkled, it was always pressed and clean, which was saying something monumental. Naruto was getting better at tying the bows around his neck; though whether or not this was a good thing he had no idea.

But that didn't change the fact that Naruto was wearing a freakin' Pink Ribbon! What kind of crazy parallel universe had Sasuke slipped into! But it wasn't like Sasuke was complaining or anything; it was rather intriguing to see him in it... Arrgh, he was thinking _that_ way again! What was up with him? If he let his mind wander without restraint he would somehow always end up with _those_ thoughts and when that happened right in the middle he was always being jerked violently out of his reverie by one of his teammates showing up and greeting him; usually Sakura, he'd reply if he trusted his voice not to betray him. Which he didn't. If he could have had his way he would have gone home for a cold shower, but alas that would be getting what he wanted now wouldn't it? Sasuke never got what he really wanted, he had hordes of fangirls whom he could care less for, no family, he wasn't strong enough to kill the one who had killed his family in the first place, he couldn't find out why Naruto was wearing such an alluring ribbon, he couldn't do what he wanted with afore mentioned ribbon either...Sasuke mentally slapped himself, he had gone and done it again. If he didn't have a facade to upkeep he would have walked over to the nearest strong, solid object and beat his head against it until said theoretical object was destroyed or he fell unconscious. Whichever was fine with him at the moment.

He didn't want to spend another day with _that_ uncomfortable feeling with the object of his musings was mere feet from him. Not like yesterday, no, he was never going to have another day like yesterday _ever_ again if he had anything to say about it.

_**FLASHBACK!** -Oh, com'on you knew it was coming!-_

Yet again he found his thoughts meandering back to Naruto and his ribbon. Why did he constantly think about it? And what would happen if he indulged his thoughts? (OK, now you and I just _know _he is asking for no end of trouble by indulging these thoughts. I thought Sasuke was intelligent! Guess it's not in all matters, huh?) He was a little earlier then usual because he had been awoken by a dream he couldn't remember, but he had woken up in a cold sweat and breathing hard. (Yup, Sasuke is a moron; he really can't figure it out... And he teases Naruto about being dumb) He let his mind wander around Naruto's pink ribbon, which was an object of curiosity for Sasuke (that bordered on obsession.) He thought it wouldn't be so prominent if he wore it around his wrist, it would look a lot better around his wrist. That stupid pink ribbon...

Sasuke could see it, he saw that pink ribbon hanging on a hook, it was tying Naruto's hands together high above his head. But Sasuke couldn't see Naruto's orange sleeves, because he wasn't wearing his jacket, in fact he wasn't wearing much of a shirt at all. Naruto looked as if he had been running for miles, he was breathing hard and red in the face, his eyes were unfocused and he was looking up at Sasuke as he had never done before. The look on his face wasn't of anger, fear, embarrassment, pride, happiness, or even cluelessness, but of hunger and want. His lips, which were for some reason pinker then usual were forming his name, he knew Naruto had spoken but he couldn't hear a word. His headband was gone, and he looked deliciously unkempt. Sasuke vaguely realized he was reliving the dream he had had last night.

Sasuke's own hand went up to Naruto's cheek and held it tenderly, Naruto was getting closer to him, or was he getting closer to Naruto? Either way it resulted in a kiss, nothing like the previous accidental one he had shared with Naruto, but one full of passion, his tongue left his mouth to glide gently but firmly across Naruto's already ravished lips. Naruto opened his mouth to admit Sasuke's probing tongue. Sasuke explored Naruto's mouth slowly taking care to go over every part with his tongue at least twice. His hands were wandering Naruto's shirtless chest and back feeling the slight build from all of Naruto's training efforts. Naruto wasn't covered with huge bulging muscles and Sasuke liked it better that way. It eventually came that one of his hands would come to rest on Naruto's waist while the other cupped the back of Naruto's head. The hand around his waist was coming around to the fastener of Naruto's pants, undoing them, pulling them slowly downward, the friction causing Naruto to release a shuddering gasp. Sasuke smirked into the kiss when:

"SASUKE-KUN!" Sakura came running towards him screeching his name for all the heavens and hells to hear. Oh yeah, Sasuke was in a very _un_comfortable position right now. This was a new kind of pain, a horrible kind of torture, he was hard. _Damnit!_ Sasuke screamed in his head. _This is not the time for my hormones to suddenly kick in! And in reverse of all ways! _Sasuke's glare was one of such ferocity that it stopped Sakura in her tracks. In about seven minutes or so the situation worsened. The object of his daydream strolled into view. (Again, to miss that bright orange jumpsuit one would need to be blind much less possess the sharingun (sp?).-shakes head-) Sasuke really didn't want to be there that day, he was really frustrated and what was worse his sensei was a pervert! He'd know! Com'on Sasuke think! Get rid of it! Ino! Temari! Itachi! **Sakura**! Ok, that last one worked. It was to the point that he could ignore it if he tried, but god this was going to be the longest day of his teenage life.

_**END FLASHBACK!** -Now for more Naruto-ness!-_

"SASUKE-KUN!" _Holy shit, I thought the flashback ended! _Sasuke looked up, carefully masking the fear in his eyes, he saw Sakura walking up to him, Naruto not far behind. Sasuke let out an unnoticed sigh of relief, he was just being paranoid. Now all they had to do was wait for their sensei to show up from whatever it was he was doing to always make him late. It seemed Sakura had had her fill of Kakashi's lack of punctuality as well.

"I wish I knew what it was that always makes that man late!" she roared, in a savage only-Sakura-could-pull-off-this-kind-of-ferocity kind of way that she was so flippin' famous for.

"Careful what you wish for Sakura-chan, you might get it." Naruto said offhandedly not looking at them. Sakura looked at Naruto as though he had grown a second head. _That's pretty deep for Naruto, I'm not sure Sakura'll get it_. Sasuke thought to himself.

"I don't get it." Sakura said simply. Sasuke gave a smirk from behind her back.

"Trust me on this one; you don' wanna know. I shouldn'a found out but I did, and now I'm telling you, you don' wanna know."  
_Naruto's flawless grammar at work. _Sasuke gave a small smile but quickly hid it. Why was his facade so easily cracked today?

"What was he doing Naruto?" Sakura said sweetly.

_It's not_ what _he's doing it's_ who _he's doing. Gak! Mental images! _Naruto thought to himself. Sakura continued to press the matter but Naruto outrightly refused to tell her. And because he wouldn't tell her she snubbed him all day. Naruto was seriously considering telling her by the afternoon.

But Sasuke could care less what (or who, but not that he knows) Kakashi did in his spare time. He had been contemplating a way to get some information out of Sakura concerning the pink ribbon of evil.(as he's been mentally dubbing it.)He wasn't about to ask Sakura himself, he could barely stand the girl in the presence of others but whenever they were left alone she would always try to jump him. He wasn't about to go around in a transformation jutsu because he didn't know how she spoke to her friends, if she had any. There was one other option; employ the help of one who knew someone who knew Sakura have them relay the information. But who would keep their big mouth shut? Who could he convince? Ino? No, she was as bad as Sakura, and even though she hated her they were sometimes friendly; girls were weird like that. Choji would do it for food but how did Sasuke know he wouldn't accidentally blab? The last member of Ino's team was Shikamaru. He was a lazy bum who probably would charge an outrageous price for actually making him actually do something. But on the other hand he probably wouldn't take the energy to repeat what he'd found out and who for... Shikamaru it was then.

* * *

"Haruno!" Sakura turned, it was Ino. What did she want now? And, "Why did you use my surname, Ino?" Ino sweatdropped and waved away the comment. "I've been sick for the past few days and I'm still a little out of it. But never mind that, when did Naruto turn gay?" 

Sakura's jaw hit the floor. **_WTF?_** Her eyes bugged out of her head and Inner Sakura was raging something about Naruto was now a potential rival for Sasuke's affection's in the awful chance that he dug guys. Ino continued to question Sakura, "Why the hell is he wearing that ribbon? National Coming Out Day is in a different month! Who gave him that ribbon?"

It took Sakura's brain a few seconds to sort out what Ino had said. then when she finally had, she laughed. She laughed right out loud and clutched at her stomach, she was laughing so hard. Ino was now looking puzzled.

"Hey, what's so funny Forehead?" She said poking the mentioned facial feature with a manicured finger.

Sakura didn't hear the slight because she was still laughing. "He-he-heh! **I** gave Naruto that ribbon; he's not gay, just stupid. And that's nothing new at all!"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa! how did you?-- Nevermind, just, start at the beginning." Ino said taking a seat on a nearby bench.

"Well on Valentine's I got a present from Naruto, he got me these cheap chocolates from a place I've never even heard of, hey, you want one?" Sakura started digging through her bag when Ino nodded her assent. She brought out the box and lifted the lid, when Ino saw the emblem on the inside of the cover she grabbed it and goggled, not daring to believe her eyes. "_Choco Tree Chocolates _(1)? No wonder you haven't heard of them! They're an expensive chocolate boutique with only one store in the village hidden in the mountains! They only distribute to an exclusive clientele! How the hell did Naruto make the list?"

"You **must** be joking! There's no way Naruto could afford that and make his monthly rent! Not when he got me these earrings and this charm too."

"Are those **real** silver?" Ino asked staring at the jewelery.

"I highly doubt it. Like I said, Naruto could never afford to pay for it."

"Unless;" Ino mused aloud, "Unless, he'd been saving up for a long time for it." Ino looked thoughtful and said, a little sternly, "But that doesn't explain his pink ribbon. Why would you give him such a thing?"

"He made me so mad, _and_ he ate one of my chocolates before he gave them to me, _and_ I forgot to shop for him 'till the day before. I saw the ribbon while window shopping and thought it would be good payback for him."

"If Naruto got me presents like that for Valentine's day I would never _dream_ of giving him such a mean return gift, annoying moron or not." Ino said in a sort of scolding tone.

"It was a gag gift really. I just wanted to see his face, I never dreamed he'd actually wear it. And he's worn it for this long! He is so stupid. I think that because of the story I fed him he thinks I like him! Fat chance! Moron Naruto."

Ino looked at a nearby clock, "Oh, shit! I'm supposed to be doing chores! Later Forehead!" And she ran off down the street, ignoring Sakura's shouts of, "Don't **call** me that Ino-Pig!" she turned the corner and ran face to face with Uchiha Sasuke. Her face turned very stern and she held out a hand.

"Where's my cash, Uchiha?" and then muttered under her breath, "Making me do such troublesome things just to avoid you damn troublesome Fanclub Stalkers..."

"Here's your damn cash, I knew you'd ask for something outrageous; and drop the jutsu, you're creepy like that." Sasuke snapped handing the image of Ino the agreed amount.

_**-POOF!-**_ "Gee thanks, now I know what you think of Ino." Shikamaru said in a sarcastic tone counting the small wad of bills halfheartedly, then finding it too much work simply stowed the bills without bothering to finish counting.

There's somthing extra in there to make sure you keep your trap shut."

"Not like I care why you'd want to do all this to know something so mundane you could have asked her yourself." But the tone he used while saying so inferred that he did want to know why.

"I don't like being left alone with any of my, as you call them, Fanclub stalkers. One time one of them offered they're virginity to me, I was freaked out." Sasuke said without any emotion at all.

"Anyone would be, but some of them would take the girl up on her offer."

"It wasn't a girl."

...O.O...

Shikamaru could think of nothing to say to this, so he shrugged his shoulders and walked off thinking of the nice new Go set he could buy if he ever bothered with his money.

**End Chappie Three!**

**

* * *

**

Who do you want to do the next disclaimer? And I still want suggestions on how Sakura can get what's coming to her. 

(1) I made this comany up and claim it unless there's a real one But if you want to use the name please ask permission.

Well? Did you like? Did you hate? Do you want me to continue? Reviews! Only reviews will make me write again!

-Novelist signs off!


	5. Onsen Insanities and Curious Fans

**Source of all evil: Pink Ribbon  
By: Shozetsku  
Disclaimer/Warnings/Authoress Notes:  
**Novelist: Haku! Please do my disclaimer!  
Haku: -takes off mask- Why?  
Fangirls of Haku: Kyaaa! So Cute!  
Haku: -sweatdrop- What the heck?  
Novelist: These are your fangirls Haku! They love you just for being you; be a dear and do the disclaimer so they can hear your so cool voice. -begs cause is a fangirl of Haku too-  
Haku: What's a disclaimer? What do I say?  
Novelist: Here! Just read off this card.  
Haku: -reads in monotone- Novelist does not own Naruto, just her ideas. Please do not sue her because she is saving up her measly cash for an anime con.  
Novelist: Thank you soo much Haku! -Glomps him; other fangirls glare-  
Haku: Don't touch me.  
Novelist: T-T all these bishies are so mean to me... –other fangirls glomp Haku-

SasuxNaru-ness, bashing of the color pink, Sakura bashing, cursing, and basic insanity. Slight implications at NaruxKiba.

Help me to take much needed revenge on the pink-haired demon! Tell me via review how to punish her. She deserves it! Don't let her get away with treating Naruto like that! Punish the demon, tell me how! (This plea will be repeated at the end of this fic)

**Chapter 4: **Onsen Insanities and Curious Fans

Naruto poured the hot water over his head and shook his hair semi-dry. He stood up and walked to the main pool of water and sank in slowly. The warm water felt so good on his aching muscles; Kakashi-sensei had been unusually cruel lately. Naruto could only guess what had put his sensei in such a temper but he put what little money he had on a lovers' quarrel. One clue definitely was that Kakashi had given Naruto his blackmailed money for rent attached to a kunai headed for Naruto's skull. Naruto was dense at times, he'll admit, but he wasn't that stupid. But the fact of the matter was that he couldn't take much more of these unreasonable lessons. Something had to be done...

But Naruto would enjoy his bath in the onsen first. He was just starting to get bored when he was given a brief warning of "CANNONBALL!" before he was given a face full of water. Sputtering and coughing he rubbed his eyes to clear his vision enough to see the asshole that had cannonball-ed into the onsen so _he_ could report _them_ to the management as a nice change of pace. He saw Choji's head emerge from the water with a smirk; two seconds later or so Kiba also came up to breathe. Shino and Shikamaru were calmly and silently settling down in the water like normal people (or at least as normal as any of the rookie nine get). Naruto glared at them as they all stared at him, seemingly fascinated. Finally he got fed up and snapped, "What the hell are you guys staring at?"

Kiba answered quite honestly when he said, "I have no idea."

Shikamaru and Choji nodded their heads in agreement, but Shino said, "It looks like a line across your neck

Kiba looked hard at Naruto. "Oh, shit! It does! It's a tan line!"

Naruto's hand went to his neck so fast he almost choked himself. The others laughed at him. "Bad luck Naruto, that's what you get for wearing that fluorescent pink thing like a moron," Kiba managed to say between bouts of laughter.

"Spell 'fluorescent'," Naruto said snapped at the brunette, not looking at the dog-boy.

"F-L-O-O-R-E-C-E-N-T."

"Who's the moron now?" Naruto said crossing his arms. Naruto knew Kiba had spelled it wrong but he didn't know how to spell it either. Of course, he wasn't going to tell them that. "Don't say what you can't spell Kiba."

Choji slapped the water hard, still laughing. "He's got you there!"

"Yeah Kiba, since when are you dumber than Naruto?" Shikamaru asked snidely, though not really caring. Choji was going red in the face from lack of oxygen; even Shino was having a small laugh at Kiba's expense.

It took Naruto a few seconds to realize that Shikamaru had dissed him and Kiba in the same breath. "Hey! At least I can spell!"

"And what a big help that will do you in becoming a half-decent ninja; you can spell, so what? You're still so troublesome." _Though at the same time lucrative,_ Shikamaru thought idly his mind meandering back to the money he had gotten from Sasuke.

"How long have you been wearing that ribbon anyways Naruto, and why?" Choji asked gasping for breath and hoping this would be a topic that wouldn't send him laughing till he nearly suffocated.

Naruto thought back, "Since March fourteenth so about a month now."

Kiba slipped off his seat and came up sputtering, "A month? Why?"

"It's not really your business, but I think it was because I wanted to keep my word over my dignity."

"YOU have 'dignity'?" Kiba snorted.

"Watch it, Dog-breath," Naruto snapped.

"Don't tell me what to do, Fox-boy," Kiba shot back.

"And while this is SO amusing boys, really it is, could you have your little lovers' tiffs somewhere else?" Shikamaru asked with his voice dripping with disdain.

Naruto's whiskers broadened and his eyes and voice changed. **"For your sake, you'd better be making a _bad_ attempt at a joke,"** Naruto snarled. Shikamaru blanched and made hurried and half-sincere apologies. Naruto reverted back to normal after a few seconds.

"Speaking of 'lovers' tiffs'... what'll I do about my sensei if he never makes up with his?"

"Kakashi-sensei has a lover! Who is it?"

"And as to that, I've been sworn to secrecy; not to mention I'm trying to self-induce amnesia about the whole thing."

"Why?"

"Imagine _yourself_ walking in on your _sensei_ in the middle of _that_ with --with, well, _any_one! It's disturbing!"

There was a collective shudder that Kiba didn't really join in. He was blushing like an idiot, though. Shino got irritated fairly quickly with him. "No, not _that_ person, the _other_ one." Naruto had forgotten that Kiba and Shino's sensei was a rather good-looking woman. But upon hearing Shino's statement, which Naruto didn't understand in the slightest, Kiba attempted to drown himself in disgust.

After convincing the boy against all attempts at suicide, they settled down to enjoy the water's warmth. Naruto was just dropping off from exhaustion when Kiba—_Damn that loud-mouthed moron to hell!_ (Naruto, that could be referring to you to you know...)—spoke up, breaking the silence.

"Let's play the 'Deserted Island Game: Hell Borne Edition'!"

_Ughh, stupid, bothersome, moron and his troublesome, idiotic, suggestions_, Shikamaru thought to himself. "No."

"Will you shut up?"

"Yes, please."

"What's that?"

"Ohh! Naruto! Don't ask him!" Shikamaru flung some water in Naruto's face in annoyance.

"What? What'd I do?"

"The Hell Borne Edition of the Deserted Island Game is-" Shino covered his mouth before he could get any farther. "Not enough people, drop it."

Kiba looked around, shrugged, and leaned back and enjoyed the water. Shino sighed in relief and also sat back down in the water. Then Naruto noticed something. "Shino, why are you wearing your sunglasses in the onsen?" 

Shino sat up a bit. "Got a tan line too." He pushed his sunglasses up higher on his nose.

They all looked at him. "Well?"

"What?" Shino asked.

"Let's see."

"No."

"Hey, show me, I've got one too," Naruto pleaded. Shino sighed, got up, moved over to Naruto and, outside of everyone else's view, took off his shades. Naruto gaped. "Damn!"

Shino quickly put them back on before anyone else saw. "Leave it, Naruto."

"I've never seen your entire face before…"

"I said drop it."

"If you didn't have that tan line you'd have _so_ many girls all over you..."

"Naruto, drop it."

"I mean, I don't think _any_one's seen your eyes in, like, forever..."

"Now I _gotta_ look!" Kiba made a mad grab for Shino's glasses.

"NO," he snapped, dodging him.

"Feh, it's not like any of us could get any girls around here what with 'Mr. Perfect'-ly nauseating Sasuke around," Kiba said giving up after several unsuccessful attempts to de-shade Shino.

"If you're going to talk about me please do it when I'm around."

And lo, the spoken of Uchiha arrived in the onsen, freshly showered and in only a towel standing a little ways off from Naruto. (Fangirls commence your drooling!)

Naruto, remembering the line around his neck got out of the water, rushed past Sasuke and went to dry himself off and get the hell outta there. Sasuke raised an eyebrow and looked at Shikamaru for answers, but Shikamaru mimed the universal hand sign for 'cash' very discreetly. With equal subtlety, Sasuke declined Shikamaru. The Uchiha walked to a less crowded pool and sank in, slightly disappointed that Naruto had left.

That night Naruto didn't sleep well. His dreams were of things like all of his clothes being dyed pink, the rookie nine boys wearing different color ribbons around their necks, being kicked out of his apartment for trying to pay in phony money, and Iruka chucking kunai at him while kissing Kakashi. But what made him sit up in a cold sweat was being caught in front of Sasuke wearing nothing but his accursed pink ribbon.

Breathing hard, he felt his neck; he'd forgotten to take the ribbon off that evening. He looked at his clock, an hour before he had to be at the meeting place to wait for Kakashi-sensei. Naruto knew he'd never get back to sleep so he instead got ready to go out to the meeting place, grumbling. With any luck there would be almost no one up at that time, and he could cut through the town.

Naruto sat and waited for one of the others to show up at the assigned place; somewhere between sleeping and wakefulness Sasuke came into view. Naruto perked his head up a bit. Sasuke looked at Naruto, but said nothing. Again, Sasuke did not trust his voice; he'd had another one of those dreams, and being alone with Naruto wasn't doing anything good for his situation. He contented himself with leaning against a nearby tree and stealing glances at his ribbon, for again the dreams had a great deal to do with Naruto and his pink decoration.

Around ten minutes later the sun was a little warmer on their backs and a little higher in the sky. The two hadn't made any very noticeable movement. But Naruto was getting very agitated with his teammate whom was leaning against the tree.

"I've been wearing it for over a month now; you'd think the novelty of my wearing a pink ribbon would have worn off by now! Stop looking at it!" he shouted throwing all subtlety to the winds.

Sasuke was a little taken aback at being caught stealing glances but hid it well, "I was wondering why you would wear that thing." _Stupid! You already know that! ...But it's not like I can tell him the truth…_

Naruto looked at him. "Not that it's any of your business but, it was a gift from Sakura-chan for White Day."

"You _do_ know she doesn't like you, right?" Sasuke said before he could stop himself.

Naruto scowled at him. "Shows what you know, Teme."

Sasuke smirked. "No, shows what you _don't_ know, Dobe."

Naruto got up, ready to punch the daylights out of Sasuke's smug face when he fell back down again in a heap. When, after a few seconds he didn't get up Sasuke got worried and rushed over to see what was wrong.

What he saw made him so mad he wanted to hit the Blonde: Naruto had fallen asleep! But Sasuke never did hit Naruto; he saw his sleeping face and couldn't do anything but stare. His look of contentment was so captivating to Sasuke that before he knew what he was doing he saw and felt his hand gently caress Naruto's cheek ever so softly. But Sasuke couldn't pull his hand away. He found his fingers gently tracing the whisker marks. He ran his hand through those soft, golden locks and cherished the feel of it. He may never get this chance again, and he wanted to make the most of it. And through it all Naruto slept, and whether or not Sasuke wanted him to wake up and catch him he never really decided.

Finally Sasuke decided he'd push his rotten luck no farther. He fixed an agitated look on his face and shook Naruto hard. "Dobe! Wake up! You moron, why come early if you won't get enough sleep?"

Naruto stirred. Sure enough, he had fallen asleep right as he was about to... about to... what was he going to do anyways? Naruto couldn't remember... Whatever he had been dreaming about was really nice though, if only he could remember what it was... He sat up, dusted himself off, straightened his headband, and then fixed his bow.

Then who should arrive but their sensei, not exactly on time but not as late as usual, and very grumpy.

"There's not going to be any training or missions for a while, like a month. And shut up Naruto, I'm going to tell you why. There are apparently about four or five girls who need an escort to some purification spring. They have expressly said they only want girls to escort them, so Ino, Hinata, Kurenai, and our Sakura have been thrown together to do it. Anyways, it's not smart to try to teach you anything new because I don't want to repeat myself for Sakura when she returns, so if we are going to do anything, it's work on you two and your animosity because it's a damn problem."

_The only one with animosity at this point is you sensei..._ Sasuke thought to himself but dared not voice this.

Naruto looked perplexed, "What's 'animosity'?" he asked.

Sasuke looked at him, wide-eyed, and he was going to answer his question when Kakashi told him, rather harshly, "Look it up, dobe." And disappeared.

Sasuke was flabbergasted. What the hell was eating their sensei? He never, NEVER called Naruto 'dobe' but he also never stopped Sasuke as long as he didn't go too far. Something was definitely up, and Sasuke wanted to know what. And something else was wrong: Naruto wasn't even getting mad. Okay, so he was but he wasn't throwing a tantrum or shouting, his face just got angrier and angrier.

"If we have to work on getting along we'll do it tomorrow, Sasuke-teme. I have things to do and I've been meaning to visit Iruka-sensei's, anyway." He turned to walk away. "Oh hey, what does animosity mean anyways?"

If he weren't hiding behind a mask of indifference Sasuke would have laughed aloud at Naruto for still wondering about something so silly. Instead he simply answered him. "To be or feel hostile or resentful. In the way Kakashi-sensei used it, we're hostile and/or resentful towards each other."

Naruto nodded. "Ohh..." He turned again. "Later!" he called over his shoulder. Sasuke noticed, for the first time in his life, that Naruto rolled is hips a lot when he walked, which made him realize that he was staring at Naruto's ass as the blonde walked away. Sasuke shook himself hard; he really needed to stop that sort of stuff before he was caught in a really embarrassing situation. But, unable to help himself, he watched Naruto walk away and out of sight before leaving there, himself.

Naruto knocked, having learned from past experiences, on Iruka-sensei's door. There were sounds of furious last second cleaning and a muffled "Coming!" Then the door opened to reveal a very disheveled Iruka. But not in a way that he was doing anything with Kakashi, but in a way that he hadn't really combed his hair in about a week. Naruto looked him up and down and told him the honest truth. "Sensei, you look like shit!"

"Gee, thanks Naruto. Is there a reason you came by or did you just want to insult me?" Iruka said in the same pissed-off, 'get the hell away from me' vibe that Kakashi had. And Naruto had had enough of just rolling over and taking it.

"Actually sensei I wanted to see if there was anything wrong between you and Kakashi-sensei. Because he's been treating me like a piece of shit on the bottom of his shoe too. I see now I shouldn't have bothered though. Bye sensei." Naruto stalked off.

Or tried to. Iruka caught him by the shoulder and apologized. Naruto followed his old sensei inside and found a mess inside that rivaled his own apartment. (That's saying something!) Naruto sat down at the kitchen table with Iruka, and he asked the most obvious question. "So what the hell happened?" Naruto is not known for subtlety, nor do I think he knows the word.

Iruka laughed sadly. "I doubt you want to know the details." Naruto shook his head. "He and I had a fight. Basically, he wanted to go public with our relationship after you found us and I wasn't ready. He took it the wrong way, and he and I got so mad at each other we haven't spoken since. He thinks I'm ashamed of our relationship! Which is of course ridiculous, I'm just worried about how everyone is going to take the news."

"So is this what they call a 'lovers' tiff'?" Naruto asked.

Iruka blinked. "Naruto... Who have you been talking to? They might be a bad influence on you. But yes, I suppose you could call it that," he said scratching at his scar a bit.

Naruto nodded. "You should apologize," he said, nodding wisely.

Iruka laughed. "Naruto if it were that simple, don't you think we would have done it?"

Naruto looked hard at his sensei. "Pride's a bitch. That's what makes it hard. Obviously it's all about something stupid, and I had something to do with it. But sensei, please apologize for my sake if nothing else; he threw a kunai at my head and it cut some of my hair off. See?" Naruto displayed the bit of hair he was talking about. "This bit is shorter than the others. I think he was trying to hit the mark that time! He's really upset, please work it out with him."

Naruto pulled a sad puppy face complete with trembling lower lip. Iruka stood no chance, no chance at all. (Of course not! Naruto is far to uke-ish! Naruto: **_I'm_** the uke? NNNNNOOOOOOOO!) He conceded and promised to make out—UP, UP, he meant **UP!** with Kakashi that day. And Naruto left his sensei a little scarred at his slip of the tongue. But hopeful there would be no more kunai aimed at his head. He rather liked his head, even though he didn't use it all that much. (Ok, that was a low blow. But you all were thinkin' it too!)

Naruto went to go wander around the woods so as to avoid most people and their stares and whisperings and cold looks, but mostly he went there to kill time. Naruto found a nice clearing with a secluded view of the Hokage monument. He began to wonder why he'd never found this place before when he felt that there was a presence behind him.

"What are you doing here?"

Naruto knew that voice...

**End chappie! **

Who should the mysterious someone be? I have a vague idea but if you have suggestions I would love to hear them!

Help me to take much needed revenge on the pink-haired demon! Tell me via review how to punish her. She deserves it! Don't let her get away with treating Naruto like that! Punish the demon, tell me how!

WOW! This is like, the longest chappie I've ever written! I'm so happy! And if you want me to make them long like this again you've gotta review me and tell me!  
There are a bunch of people who have me on Alert or Fav's and haven't sent me one review! I have all your names; don't make me post them!

-Novelist!


	6. Unexpected Encounters

**Source of all evil: Pink Ribbon  
By: Shozetsku  
Disclaimer/Warnings/Authoress Notes:  
**Novelist: Presenting Akamaru, to do my disclaimer!  
Akamaru: Arf!  
Kiba: Hey! What the hell lady? What am I, chopped liver?  
Novelist: --' And the guy that brought Akamaru.  
Kiba: I have a name you know! -seriously pissed off-  
Akamaru: Arf! Arf! Arf! Arf! Arf!  
Novelist: That's right Akamaru! I own nothing except my own ideas, and Sachiko who appears in the story! Such a very good boy! -pets-  
Kiba: Are you even listening to me?  
Novelist: Yes. I merely address myself to the more polite one of the two of you. -really is a Kiba fangirl though-  
Kiba: Am I even _in_ this stupid chapter?  
Novelist: Not with that attitude you're not! ... ... -can't resist anymore- BISHIE! -glomps Kiba and succeeds in crushing Akamaru-  
Akamaru: whii-ine.

SasuxNaru-ness, bashing of the color pink, Sakura bashing, cursing, basic insanity, and a slight shojo-ai warning. And a lil' GaaxNaru for the GaaxNaru fans!

_**Please Note:** Italics are Gaara's thoughts_

Help me to take much needed revenge on the pink haired demon! Tell me via review how to punish her. She deserves it! Don't let her get away with treating Naruto like that! Punish the demon, tell me how! (This plea will be repeated at the end of this chapter.)

**Chapter 5:** Unexpected Encounters

Ultra brief recap:

Naruto went to go wander around the woods so as to avoid most people and their stares and whisperings and cold looks, but mostly he went there to kill time. Naruto found a nice clearing with a secluded view of the Hokage monument. He wondered why he'd never found this place before when he felt that there was a presence behind him.

"What are you doing here?"

Naruto knew that voice...

"Wandering around to kill time. What are you doing so far away from your village Gaara?" Naruto asked in a futile effort to make pleasant conversation with the other boy.

"What are you wearing around your neck?" Was Gaara's only reply, Typical Gaara, thought Naruto, answering his question with yet another question.

"It's called a ribbon Gaara. Do you approve?" Naruto was really trying to get the stoic boy to show some emotion, it vaguely creeped him out that he didn't. And he was rewarded, Gaara grimaced and said quite bluntly,

"You look like a girl." Now Naruto grimaced, this wasn't the type of reaction he had wanted; however he should have remembered that Gaara had absolutely no sense of humor. (The fangirls of Gaara would never allow him to break character so badly.)

_Though, I must say I do approve. It makes me want to take it off slowly with my teeth... Among other things..._

"What are you doing in Konoha?" this was a perfectly logical question but Gaara looked taken aback, as though he had never really thought this.

_Do I need a reason to come and see you?_

" I was... admiring the view." Naruto turned around and looked at the Hokage monument behind him, it was beautifully silhouetted against the sky. Naruto smiled turning back to Gaara.

"Yeah, the view is enough to take your breath away." Naruto said still beaming.

_Yes, it is beautiful but I'm looking at something I like more, your smile does more then take my breath away._

"But Gaara, I didn't know you were so sentimental."

Gaara was startled but didn't show it. Had he said that aloud? He couldn't have. Naruto was probably just talking about Gaara liking the scenery.

"The fourth one kind of looks like you somewhat."

"The fourth Hokage? Like me? Sure, give him a goofy grin and whiskers and I'll see loads of resemblance."

"Was he your father or relative then?"

"I don't know what either of my parents looked like. Couldn't you tell I was being sarcastic?" Naruto said a little depressed.

_No I couldn't, and stop making that face. You're making me feel awful just looking at you. You're not supposed to get sad, it's your smile I love, if you don't smile for me I may die._

"Don't take it that way, it's a compliment. You'd be the relative of a previous Hokage, that would mean it was in your blood."

Naruto cheered up considerably at this, "I don't ever give out compliments to anyone. You better feel honored."

Naruto laughed, "I can't tell if you mean what you say or not, but sure, thanks and all that."

Naruto turned to leave but a question from Gaara stopped him.

"Who gave it to you?"

Naruto didn't need to ask what he was talking about. "Sakura-chan."

_I will kill her._

"I think she's starting to like me, finally something good happens."

_She... makes you happy? How? She's always been all over Uchiha every time I've seen her. She doesn't deserve you even if she does return your feelings. It's decided, I'm putting her down on my hit list, the next time I'm in the area and bored, she dies._

---------------------------------------------

Sakura, so many miles away shivered with a vague premonition of doom. But she misinterpreted it to mean that Sachiko was nearby. And in fact she was. Sakura hated Sachiko, because the long haired, dark eyed, pale brunette was all but infatuated with Sakura and she became mysteriously deaf every time Sakura explained, raged, and screamed that she wasn't into girls and would never start to, ever.

"Sakura-koi!" Sachiko squealed, "I want to take a bath, will you keep watch?"

"Have Hinata do it, she's the one with the Byakugan, you'd be safer with her keeping watch." Sakura snapped; she'd given up telling and retelling this hard-headed girl that she did not like being addressed that way.

"But I want you to watch, and how can you if you aren't there?"

"What the hell?" Sakura screeched, "Aren't you training to be a priestess? What happened to chastity?"

"That just means men." Sachiko said smiling broadly. "Now, about my bath?"

"HINATAA-A!" Sakura called, running away frantically. Ino watched the whole thing from a short distance away. She folded her arms and called after Sakura, "You should hook up with Sachiko, that'll leave Sasuke for me!"

Sachiko ran up to Ino with stars in her eyes, "You'll help me to woo my flower?"

Ino jumped back, this girl was actually serious about Sakura! It was very scary and Ino didn't much like the idea of being alone with her. Even the chance to make Sakura miserable wasn't enough to convince Ino to help this girl.

"I don't know, Sachiko-san. Sakura and I don't really get along most of the time..." this was true enough, and any excuse to get away from this girl was ok with Ino at the moment.

"Oh, I see."

"Sa-Sachiko-san." Hinata walked up to them and continued, "Sakura-chan said you needed a guard while you take a bath?"

Sachiko sighed tucking a stray lock of hair away from her face. Then she straightened up and hitched a smile on her face, nodded and went to get her bathing things.

"I-I-Ino-chan, have I done something t-to offend S-Sachiko-san?" Hinata stammered, the pale blonde only gave a dry laugh, "It's not you she's mad at, it's Sakura."

Hinata didn't understand, but went to escort Sachiko to the nearby spring all the same.

---------------------------------------------

Sasuke awoke early the next morning, his latest new dream buzzing about his head as he stripped the bed sheets and threw them, along with his pajamas, into the laundry hamper. This was just getting ridiculous, Sasuke was getting used to this new addition to his morning routine, and that was what bothered him. He was coming to accept that he was attracted to Naruto! Sasuke turned the water on to take a cold shower, for the forth time that week! If this kept up he might even forgo wearing pajamas if he would only be able to wear them for one night.

After showering Sasuke towel dried his hair and got dressed. After making some toast, because he wasn't that hungry that morning, and walking out the door he stopped and realized that he didn't know if anyone would come to meet him at the bridge.

It was true enough that Naruto had said that they would work on getting along, but the subject of where or when hadn't come up. And would Kakashi show up? Sasuke shook all these things from his head. He would just wait at the bridge. Naruto would figure it out eventually, and the more time Sasuke had to cool off before seeing the object of his dreams, the better.

It turns out that waiting at the bridge was the smartest thing to do. Within twenty minutes Naruto could be seen walking towards the bridge, whistling tunelessly and blithely swinging a kunai in his hand. He walked up to Sasuke and stopped in his tracks.

"We're gonna try to learn to get _along_?" Naruto asked disbelievingly. He may have been a bit justified in saying this upon seeing Sasuke's face, for Sasuke was giving him a dirty look. And Sasuke also was a little justified in his actions, for Sasuke could not whistle and was a bit jealous of those who could. (Poor Sasuke!)

"It's something to pass the time while we have nothing to do for a month." Sasuke said passively, still eyeing Naruto with disdain.

"Well we aren't gonna do it in the village." Naruto said flatly. Sasuke who was still thinking about his dream the previous night blinked twice before he realized what Naruto was _really_ saying, as opposed to what Sasuke had _hoped_ he was saying. Feeling disappointed, Sasuke shrugged.

"Then where did you plan on going?" Sasuke asked, by the blank look on the blonde's face, it was apparent that he hadn't thought of where to go. But Naruto quickly folded his arms, bit his lower lip and wrinkled his nose to think of a place where they could go.

Sasuke was floored. How on earth could ANYONE be that damn cute? He wanted to be the one biting that lip, he wanted to wrap his arms around Naruto's small figure, he wanted to whisper things in the boy's ear that would make him blush ten shades of red... Sasuke stopped himself, he could not be thinking these things now; not with Naruto right there and when they were in a public place. To Sasuke's utter horror he found that he didn't particularly care if the whole village saw him. Sasuke mentally started banging his head on the bridge railing, things were getting way out of hand!

"I'd suggest Iruka's place but I'm pretty sure he still has company." Naruto mused aloud.

"Do you think Kakashi-sensei will show up?" Sasuke asked Naruto. Naruto shook his head. "I hope not. That'll mean things went badly."

"What are you talking about?" Sasuke was beginning to worry about Naruto; he wasn't making any sense, though when Sasuke thought about it he realized that this wasn't anything new.

"It's not my place to tell you. If you should know, then I guess you'll find out." Naruto said simply. Sasuke looked at him, shook his head and turned to look at the Hokage monument. Naruto looked at it too, then a thought occurred to him. Without thinking, he took Sasuke's hand into his own and led him o an unknown destination.

Sasuke was having a furious battle in his head; to let Naruto drag him by the hand was all in all a very nice prospect. But being caught allowing himself to be led by the hand by none other then Naruto was nothing short of mortifying. But he soon realized that for the second time that morning he was worrying too much about unnecessary things that seem to take care of themselves.

Naruto was not headed for town but the forest around it. After a while Naruto let go of Sasuke's hand, they had been walking for a short time and Sasuke was beginning to get a little annoyed.

"Just where the hell are you taking me, usuron-- whoa." Sasuke's insult died on his lips, the view from this clearing was, awe-inspiring.

"I like the view too." Naruto said, putting his hands behind his head and grinning. "I found this place yesterday."

"Get lost?" Sasuke said trying to bait the blonde. But Naruto missed the sarcasm, "Not really, you can't get lost if you're not really going anywhere."

"You're still wearing it." Sasuke observed out loud. Again, Naruto didn't need to be told what the other boy was referring to, he knew.

"I did give my word I'd wear it." Naruto said stubbornly.

"I wouldn't tell Sakura you took it off. I don't think anyone else in the village knows about this clearing because you can't see it unless you're right on top of it. You don't have to wear it if you don't want to."

"But I can't take it off." Naruto said simply, blushing slightly.

"Why? Do you like her that much?" Sasuke asked, dreading the answer.

"I'd take it off if she weren't around but ... Well, if..." Naruto trailed off, his blush deepening and he looked away from Sasuke's penetrating eyes.

"If?" Sasuke asked, taking a step towards Naruto who was standing a few steps in front of a large tree. Naruto took a step away from Sasuke, closer to the trunk of the tree.

"_If_?" Sasuke said, stressing the word to show he wasn't going to back off.

Naruto mumbled something incoherent.

"What? Sorry, didn't catch that."

"I-have-a-tan-line." Naruto muttered quickly. Sasuke's eyed widened, he hadn't expected that.

"You do? I don't believe you." Sasuke stepped forward and reached out a hand to grab one of the ends of Naruto's ribbon. But again Naruto stepped away from him. Sasuke stepped again, and this time Naruto's back hit the trunk of the tree. Trapped. No way out of this one.

Sasuke pulled gently on the ribbon, the bow undid itself and it came gracefully away from Naruto's neck. There, as plain as day was a line of skin going across Naruto's neck that was several shades paler then the rest of his skin. Naruto blushed furiously and tried to pretend that nothing was happening.

"And now that we've established that I am not a liar, can I have my ribbon back? I did promise." Naruto looked Sasuke dead in the eye, still very red with embarrassment, and held a hand out to receive the ribbon.

Sasuke didn't actually return the ribbon; he tied it to Naruto's wrist. "You're still wearing it now." He said. Naruto's face screwed up in annoyance.

"And what about the line around my neck?" Naruto snapped.

"Just take off your jacket and let the sun fix it, dobe." The taller boy said calmly, still quite close to Naruto. Naruto seemed to think about this for a minute and decided that wearing it this new way was much better. Naruto unzipped his jacket and left it at the base of the tree he'd been backed into. He walked out from under the shade of the tree and stretched in the sun and rubbed his neck. It felt good to be free, so to speak. All the while Sasuke enjoyed the free show.

_That shirt is skintight! Damn, he looks good; that jacket does nothing for his slender figure. It's decided, if I can help it he's never taking that jacket off in front of other people again. I want _that_ all to myself. Oh, if only this could last forever. I wouldn't mind at all..._

"Let's spar." Sasuke said suddenly.

"Huh?" Naruto said looking at him.

"Let's spar." Sasuke repeated, making sure he spoke clearly. "It's something to do, and it'll help you not to be so much of a hindrance in a fight."

Naruto scowled, "You better be thankful I don't know what hindrance means."

And they fought. Sasuke never really actually hit Naruto that hard. But every now and the he would stop their fight and explain how Naruto had just died three consecutive times. It took a little while to explain what consecutive meant. Sasuke found that he would allow his mind to wander and end up being beaten by Naruto because of novice mistakes. One such mistake ended up in the not so disagreeable position of Naruto straddling Sasuke's waist. Naruto's face was flushed from exercise and he ws breathing a little hard while sweat beaded and slid down his face, neck, and arms.

"H-ha, ha, ha!" he managed to laugh through his labored breaths, "I win."

Sasuke said nothing. He thanked whoever was up there that his face was already red from sparring, because blood rushed to his face as he yet again found a new meaning to Naruto's innocent words.

Sasuke and Naruto continued fighting for a few hours, somewhere around lunchtime Naruto made a truly disastrous mistake and crashed into Sasuke causing them to fall to the ground, and Naruto to twist his ankle very badly.

"OW! Shit! That hurts so bad!" Naruto clutched his leg to his and rolled on the ground whimpering in pain. (let's just say that for the sake of the story the Kyuubi will not immediately heal the wound because it is not fatal) Sasuke was at his side immediately, gently coaxing the leg away from Naruto so he could assess the damage.

"It's twisted, but you'll live, it should be fine in a little while but walking is out of the question for at least a day. That's it, you're coming to my house."

"What! Why?" Naruto protested and tried to jerk his ankle out of Sasuke's gentle hands, but he only managed to hurt himself.

"You live alone right? There's no one who can or will take care of you right? Well, you can't walk for at least a day, maybe more." Sasuke said while trying to pick Naruto up bridal style, but the stubborn blonde would have none of that.

"Then take me to a doctor!" Naruto shouted.

"It's not so serious that you need one. Besides you heal faster then the rest of us anyways."

Once again Sasuke made to pick Naruto up, but Naruto struggled against him, "I'm _Not_ a girl! This is embarrassing!"

Sasuke sighed, "How about piggyback then?" Naruto still scowled at Sasuke but huffed, "Fine, could you get me my jacket?"

And so Naruto was carried back into town on Sasuke's back, complaining the whole way. Sasuke humored the boy as he walked through the town, if he kept Naruto's mind on other things he wouldn't notice the strange looks they were getting. Naruto looked at his surroundings.

"Baka-teme! My apartment is nowhere near here!" Naruto shouted hitting Sasuke on the head lightly.

"And who would take care of you while you paid for your stupidity with pain? The only reason I'm taking you to my place to take care of you is because if you injury gets worse, I can't be blamed. What made you screw up so badly anyways?"

Naruto wasn't sure if he should tell Sasuke that he thought he had seen Gaara in the woods, the guy wasn't so bad once you got past his homicidal tendencies.

"How am I supposed to know?" Naruto asked.

Sasuke had an apartment like Naruto, but his apartment was well kept and far larger. There were wall scrolls of the Uchiha clan hanging, as well as several large Shuriken and other weapons, and a shrine with a picture of many people on its alter.

_Sasuke's family..._ Naruto thought to himself.

Sasuke gently laid Naruto on a futon that had been left out. "It's a little past lunch. I'll make us some food."

They ate in silence; Naruto didn't dare to voice his complaints that Sasuke hadn't made ramen. It all felt very different in Sasuke's apartment.

Naruto asked if he could call Iruka-sensei when he saw Sasuke had a phone. (I'm assuming that Konoha has phones here! And if not, they do now!) Sasuke raised an eyebrow, and Naruto explained that Iruka was something like an uncle to Naruto and he wanted to talk to him anyways.

Sasuke shrugged and helped Naruto to the phone. Naruto sat on the floor next to it as the phone rang twice and Kakashi picked up, 'Hello? You've reached Iruka's place, he's quite busy at the moment so if you could call back some other ti--'

'Kakashi! Give me the phone!' and here there were sounds of a scuffle. 'Hello? Sorry about that.'

Naruto grinned, "Not at all sensei! I assume that means everything's better now right?"

'Naruto! No kakashi, get off or you sleep on the sofa alone!' more sounds of movement and Naruto thought he could hear Kakashi mumbling darkly. 'Yeah, things are good now. And he's promised no more sharp objects aimed at your head.'

"Thanks sensei. I was just checkin' up on you." Naruto said smiling.

'Naruto, what about you? Are you ok?'

"Me? No way! I twisted my ankle really bad while I was sparring with Sasuke in the woods, I can't walk now." Naruto said jovially.

_"What_? Naruto, where are you? I'll come pick you up right away! Is anything else injured? How did you get to a phone?"

"SENSEI! I'm fine, Sasuke didn't leave me to rot in the woods. I'm at his place, I swear I'm fine so you can stop getting ready to search the entire village for me cause I know you are."

There was sheepish laughter on the other line. 'S-so, Sasuke's taking care of you?'

"Yeah, he says he doesn't want to be blamed if I end up with a serious injury, he wants it plain that if that _does_ happen that it's entirely my fault." Naruto heard someone laughing in the background.

'Kakashi, it's not funny! Now you're sure you don't need me to come pick you up? I know you and Sasuke never did really get along.'

"Kakashi-sensei says that while Sakura's away we should work on getting along so in that case this might be a good thing." Naruto said shrugging.

'Well, if you're sure... then aright, but if you want to I can pick you up if you need me to.' Naruto smiled warmly.

"Thanks sensei I appreciate it, but I'm FINE. Talk to you later sensei, oh, and have fun!"

'Can do Naruto, Can do!' Kakashi said quite happily.

"And you! Go to hell!" Naruto shouted, and with that he reached up to hang up the phone.

"Who needs to go to hell?" Sasuke asked raising an eyebrow at Naruto. Naruto shook his head.

"It's not for me to say."

"Whatever. Here, drink this, it should numb the pain and help you sleep so don't freak out if you get dizzy." Sasuke said handing Naruto the medicine. Naruto swallowed it and winced, "Bleh! Not very tasty, they should make ramen-flavored medicine. Then people wouldn't mind medicine so much."

Sasuke took the cup from Naruto and went to wash it in the sink. After putting it on the dish rack to dry Sasuke realized he didn't put away the medicine bottle, he froze. What he'd given Naruto wasn't medicine, it was that aphrodisiac that girl had tried to make him take that he never got around to throwing out. He'd forgotten all about it. And Naruto had just...

Oh, shit.

**End Chapter 5!**

_**Cliffhanger!**_

I end it here! Why? Because I am evil! Muhahahahahahahahahahahahaha! -lightening and thunder in background as authoress throws her head back in maniacal laughter-

Kiba and Akamaru: -SHUDDER- Scary!  
Novelist: Are you still here?  
Kiba: you said something about food...  
Novelist: ...?...  
Kiba: as an apology?  
Novelist: ...  
Kiba: To me?  
Novelist: ...  
Kiba: For being so mean to me? Is any of this ringing any bells?  
Novelist: huh? I was just watching Choji and Akamaru stuff themselves silly at that big table full of food. -points-  
Kiba: My food!  
Novelist: But fear Not Kiba-kun! You're doing my disclaimer for the next chapter!  
Kiba: T-T ...my food...  
Novelist: In the meantime everyone please review! And more ways to punish the pink haired demon are most welcome!  
Kiba: Are you talking about Sakura?  
Akamaru and Choji: -Burp!- Excuse me!

YAY SASUNARU-NESS! Review lots and I'll do my best to update faster! Everyone must review! Give me suggestions on what you want to happen! I heart you all! Help me get to 100 reviews! Tell all your SasuNaru luvin' friends out there to read this fic! Yahoo! I broke 4,000 words! Personal record!

-Novelist!


	7. Yumminess, Trouble, and Conference Calls

**Source of all evil: Pink Ribbon  
By: Shozetsku  
Disclaimer/Warnings/Authoress Notes:  
**Novelist: I'm Soo Sorry Kiba! I was on sugar! I'm not accountable for my actions when I'm on sugar!  
Kiba: Pshh! I doubt that was all you were on...  
Novelist: Meanie! I've been sober _and_ clean since birth! Now do my disclaimer!  
Kiba: No. I want an apology.  
Novelist: Exactly what did you think I was doing a minute ago? –Shakes head-  
Kiba: Oh, fine, but I'm still mad at you! This crazy one here -Novelist waves- doesn't own anything aside from her ideas. And her made-up characters like that crazy Sachiko who has the hots for Sakura. There, happy _now_?  
Novelist: Not quite. -Truly evil grin on face-  
Kiba: What the hell are you doing? No! Wait! Stop! STOP! NOOO!  
Novelist: Now I'm happy! -smirks-  
Kiba: -Wearing the pink ribbon, and _not_ happy about it.- GET THIS THING OFF ME! I CAN'T TAKE IT OFF! ARGH!

**_SasuxNaru-ness!_** bashing of the color pink, Sakura bashing, cursing, basic insanity, and a slight shojo-ai warning. Not for the kiddies! Oh no, not at all! -evil laughter-

_italicized print is the Kyuubi talking with Naruto in his head._ 'And this kind of type is mental dialogue.'

**Chapter 6:** Yumminess, Trouble, and a Conference Call (just not in that order)

_What have you gone and gotten yourself into now kit? _Naruto jumped slightly as the demon in his head, which hadn't been bothering him lately, (thank god!) decided to make an appearance.

'What are you talking about?' He snapped, earning a slight glare from the demon, 'Hey, why is my ankle taking so long to heal?'

The Kyuubi sighed, it hadn't even been talking with Naruto for fifteen seconds and it was already tired of it. _I've decided that if it's not fatal, I'm not going to bother. _The Blonde's face fell slightly at the comment, he was ready to argue with the demon but was interrupted.

_Besides I'm going to be taking a nap for about a week and a half; so behave._

Naruto raised a brow, 'Never say anything like that ever again Kyuubi, you're not the parental type... it's just too freaky.' He distantly heard the Kyuubi making a side comment about having kids, which Naruto decided to ignore.

_Still, be careful kit. With Kitsune it's for life; so you better choose well._ The question marks hovering above Naruto's head were almost audible.

With a frustrated sigh, he closed his eyes to confront the Kyuubi. 'If you feel like explaining what the hell you're talking about?' He said with a glare.

Red eyes looked back at him, disinterested. _Actually I don't feel like it_.

Naruto stared blankly at the demon.

_I told you, I'm taking a nap for about a week and a half, two weeks tops._

'That's a long time for just a nap!' He said incredulously, flailing his arms for emphasis.

_Believe me_, the Demon began, _I'd take a longer one, but you get into trouble so easily. That's just not an option._

'Whatever... gosh, it's getting a little hot...' Naruto fanned himself slightly.

_Remember what I said about choosing well kit, being impulsive now could prove disastrous in things to come..._ With a barely audible yawn he crawled to the back of his cage and curled into a ball. Naruto panicked as he heard the steady breathing of the demon.

'Kyuubi? Kyuubi! Hey! Wake up! What are you talking about? Tell me! Damnit of all times to go to sleep! God, it's hot... I feel like I'm on fire.'

Naruto was starting to feel the effects of the drug.

* * *

But back to Sasuke and his dilemma! (hee, hee, hee!)

Sasuke was rooted to the spot in his kitchen; on the one hand this was terrible. On the other this was the best accident that had ever happened to him. He had to decide what to do, should he leave Naruto alone entirely lest he do something to him, or should he take advantage of this opportunity to ravage the blonde?

The impulsive side of Sasuke was all for the complete and total ravaging of said horny blonde in the next room. The side of Sasuke that was in utter denial of himself being gay was hiding in the closet with his hands over his ears screaming 'LA, LA, LA, I CAN'T HEAR YOU!' along with an immature Sasuke who was hiding in the bathroom hiding in what else? The fetal position. The reserved side of Sasuke was urging him to act as if absolutely nothing was happening, to ignore it completely. But Responsible Sasuke was telling him to get his butt in there and help his injured friend and teammate with whatever he needed. He did say that he would take care of him. And he was going to keep that promise whether impulsive Sasuke liked it or not! Indifferent Sasuke was well, indifferent about the whole thing.

All in all there was much chaos in Sasuke Uchiha's head. (Insert the evil, maniacal, laughter of the authoress here. But what am I going on about? You people just want me to get to the slashyness!)

On the whole, while Impulsive Sasuke's idea had it's appeal Sasuke decided to listen to Responsible Sasuke. He would take care of Naruto like he said he would. He walked into his bedroom to find Naruto without his jacket on, panting. Before Naruto even noticed he was there he did a one eighty and ran back to the kitchen like a bat outta hell.

Breathing heavily and clutching tried to calm himself down, Sasuke tried very hard not to think of a hot and horny, panting, good as shirtless Naruto sprawled on his bed. Needless to say it didn't work very well. He forced himself to concentrate on breathing. Once he felt calm enough he walked back into his room, this time a little better prepared for the sight of Naruto on his bed. Naruto was tugging at his tight black undershirt and Sasuke was pondering running into the bathroom or the closet like In Denial or Immature Sasuke's.

Sasuke cleared his throat to announce his presence. Naruto looked up at him with cloudy eyes, a half open panting mouth, and flushed cheeks. Enter Unreserved Sasuke. Unreserved Sasuke, whom did not get out much took one look at Naruto and blushed to make Hinata jealous.

"O-Oi, Teme... it's so hot in here. Open a window or turn on a fan or somethin'. I feel like I'm gonna pass out."

Indifferent Sasuke looked up at this statement from his leaning spot in the nearby corner of the room. If Naruto passed out it would be best. He could unconsciously ride out the drug's effects and Sasuke wouldn't have to do anything. Problem solved. Impulsive Sasuke hit Indifferent Sasuke on the head. If Naruto passed out then he would lose his one chance to get with Naruto and have an excuse! And maybe that would sate the dreams!

While there was much ruckus going on in the head of our poor sexually frustrated Uchiha he somehow managed to tune them out for the most part and turn on the ceiling fan. Now he had to tend to Naruto, and check the healing of his ankle.

He concentrated hard on the faint noise of the rotating fan blades as he gently lifted Naruto's foot. The swelling had not gone down, if anything it had gotten worse. Why wasn't Naruto already healed up and bouncing around? Could it be some weird reaction to the drug? The argument over whether or not to take advantage of Naruto was temporarily halted as all the Sasuke's worried and fretted over the blonde in their own ways. Immature Sasuke had come out of the bathroom and started tearing up at the bedside. Impulsive Sasuke was looking around for his keys so he could lock up before he took off to the hospital, Naruto clutched tenderly in his arms. As he looked around he saw In Denial Sasuke peek his head out of the closet. He smirked, 'OH! So now you finally decide to come out of the closet!' In Denial Sasuke glared hard at him and muttered something about 'talking nonsense' and 'stupid coincidences'.

"Oi, Naruto. What happened to your quick healing?" Sasuke asked, inwardly smirking at Impulsive Sasuke's comment. Naruto looked at the other boy and tried hard to clear his foggy head enough to answer.

"Not fatal." Naruto said shaking his head slowly, the heat of his body spreading. He couldn't say anymore, his words died on his tongue, his mind was unfocused. He started breathing harder. Everything was just too hot. Too hot. He was wearing too many clothes.

Interestingly enough Impulsive and Unreserved Sasuke's had come to the same opinion. "I would hope this isn't fatal. It would really suck for you to die over something as stupid as a sprained ankle. But that doesn't explain why it won't heal like it normally should."

"If it's not fatal..." Naruto broke off, some detached part of the back of his mind found it an achievement that he had said four words in a row in his current state. "Won't heal fast."

The many sides of Sasuke sighed in small relief. So it wasn't because of the drug. That was some good news.

"If it's going to take the normal amount of time to heal then I'd better bandage it up properly. Can you sit up Naruto?" Sasuke said still trying to play it cool and just take care of his injured friend.

Naruto shifted himself into a sitting position. The cooler feel of the bedding he hadn't been lying on previously was like heaven to him. Because of the drug accentuating his already heightened senses the sensations were alarming. He was barely aware of Sasuke leaving the room to get the first aid kit. However he did note the sudden absence of Sasuke's distinct scent. One of sweat and a little dirt which could easily have been explained by all the training they had done, but there were other smells, one that was more like spring rain the spring rain itself was. If Naruto were thinking a little straighter he might have guessed that that was the smell of Sasuke's shampoo. And the last was unlike anything else in the world, Naruto couldn't give it a name that could do it justice. It was simply the smell of Sasuke. It was odd how much he enjoyed that smell right now.

Then he felt the pain. Sharp pains in his injured foot. His first instinct was to tug his foot away but that only caused him more pain. He whined; then he heard the slightly irritated voice of Sasuke. When had the delightful smell come back into the room?

"Hold still Dobe. You're just going to cause yourself more pain the need be. Hey! I said to stop squirming! I'll finish as soon as I can, just bear with me." Naruto listened; and soon, though not quite soon enough for Naruto's liking, the pain stopped.

"There. Now, do you need anything else?" Naruto thought about that question. Need? He _wanted_ the heat to go away, it was really getting very uncomfortable. He _wanted_ his foot to heal. He wanted the fog in his head to clear up. He wanted... He wanted...

What?

"Hot." Naruto said finally. Sasuke frowned. Instinctively he put the back of his hand to Naruto's forehead. He knew better then to do that but his general worry for the boy won out over his reasoning. He really already knew what was wrong. Yet he couldn't help himself.

When Sasuke's hand touched his forehead Naruto sighed contentedly, he gently leaned into the touch and closed his eyes. The cool and smooth feel of Sasuke's hand was bliss. He wanted more; he wanted to feel more of that wonderful skin. But been with the cool touch the heat merely went somewhere else, somewhere lower down.

"Sasuke... It hurts." Naruto moaned out.

Sasuke looked at his face, he felt his cheeks burn with the realization of just how close they were. "Your ankle? It still hurts?"

"Yes.. no..." Naruto couldn't get out much else his head could not clear; forming simple words was so difficult. The heat, the pressure, the pain, the _everything_ was crashing down on him.

"What do you mean? Does somewhere else hurt?" Sasuke asked. Naruto nodded. "Where?"

Naruto tried to tell him but all he could get out was, "Down." Sasuke frowned. He didn't want there to be a misunderstanding. Though Impulsive Sasuke was about ready to get into a fist fight with Responsible Sasuke if he didn't just let Sasuke ravage him. Unreserved Sasuke was leaning against the wall in the Hinata-like state of somewhere between a faint and a blush with his nose bleeding from both nostrils. Reserved Sasuke had locked Immature and In Denial Sasuke's in the closet because they were both quite frankly in the way. Responsible Sasuke held his ground and Indifferent Sasuke merely watched, only vaguely interested.

"Where Naruto?" Sasuke urged. Naruto shook his head once, and then he grabbed Sasuke's hand that was still pressed against his forehead and pressed the other boy's hand against his already semi-hard member. Naruto gave a throaty low yell at the sudden and forceful contact. Sasuke's eyes widened at the feel of Naruto underneath his clothing.

Sasuke looked at Naruto who could only stare back pitifully, still panting and on the verge of tears. Impulsive Sasuke was biting and kicking to have his way but Responsible Sasuke held him back, he begged for two minutes at most, Impulsive Sasuke said one minute and made no guarantees even with one minute.

"Naruto, are you sure?" Naruto's face pleaded with Sasuke to stop stalling, though it was plain that in the back of his eyes he had no idea what he was asking for. He just knew that he wanted it. Responsible Sasuke then let Impulsive Sasuke take control and Impulsive Sasuke did the happy dance. Sasuke grabbed the front of Naruto's tight shirt with both hands and kissed him. Naruto hadn't expected this but he never thought to stop it.

Their lips held the contact for a few moments; then when it was apparent that Naruto wasn't going to push him away he ran his tongue along Naruto's bottom lip. Naruto's eyes snapped open as his overly sensitized body felt alight with electricity. Taking advantage of Naruto's slight surprise he pushed his tongue into Naruto's mouth, where it brushed and battled with Naruto's tongue. Sasuke also took the time to explore Naruto's mouth, reveling in the boy's taste and warmth. But they eventually broke apart to breathe, or rather Sasuke pulled away, where as Naruto ws a little more reluctant to break the contact.

Breathing heavy Sasuke looked into Naruto's blue eyes, "How far are you going to let me go Naruto? Because it better be all the way, I won't be able to stop myself if you suddenly change your mind."

"I... am ... warned then..." Naruto said with a flicker of arrogance that he is so famous for shining through, even now.

Sasuke smiled, though it felt and looked more like a smirk, "You are promised."

Sasuke moved so he was now comfortably straddling Naruto's lap. His hands found the hem of Naruto's undershirt by themselves and slid under it. Sasuke let his hands explore Naruto's back and chest freely as he captured his mouth in another kiss. This time he did not bother to start slow, before Naruto could properly react Sasuke's tongue was in his mouth. Naruto moaned and leaned back onto the bed. The higher Sasuke's hands climbed the higher Naruto's shirt rose, this presented a slight inconvenience for Sasuke. He wanted Naruto naked as fast as possible, yet he wanted maintain the wondrous contact of their kiss. He decided to compromise by leaving Naruto's shirt until the next time he needed to come up for air.

This occurred faster then the first time, for now Naruto began to kiss back. He had been shy and awkward at first but soon had his own tongue in Sasuke's mouth reveling in his taste. When they grudgingly separated for air Sasuke wasted no time in relieving Naruto of his shirt. Naruto followed Sasuke's example and brought Sasuke's shirt over his head and tossed it somewhere on the floor.

Sasuke grinned, and bent down to kiss Naruto's neck. Naruto's eyes fluttered uncontrollably as his body took over and he leaned his head back to give Sasuke better access. Sasuke bit almost hungrily at the nape of Naruto's neck and Naruto winced for the briefest of moments. Sasuke then took the pad of his tongue and gently licked the place as if in apology. Sasuke sucked on the spot, then repeated the process, bite, lick, suck. Sasuke knew it would mark. He wanted it to. He wanted it to stay there forever, but he would settle for repeating this when it started to fade.

Sasuke wanted to pleasure Naruto until he went insane, but that didn't mean that he didn't want to play a game too. He rubbed his erection hard against Naruto's watching his face contort, hearing his sweet moan, and feeling him thrust up into him, hoping for more friction. But Sasuke pulled away from him. Naruto looked at him with a face that could only mean 'Please!' but Sasuke shook his head, if you want it so bad come and get it yourself.

Naruto's hands immediately went to work as though they had been waiting for the permission to get into Sasuke's pants. Hurriedly unfastening the button and unzipping him Sasuke reveled at how much the other boy unconsciously brushed against his cock. Forgoing the hassle of having to deal with Sasuke's boxers too he pulled them down along with his shorts. The sudden freedom from the suffocating material was glorious. Naruto pulled them down to Sasuke's knees, and Sasuke took care of the rest, he kicked them off somewhere and started to return the favor.

Unlike Naruto Sasuke was much more controlled in his actions and undid the boy's orange pants with as little contact with the boy's erection as possible, then he slowly, torturously, pulled both his pants and boxers down, trailing ever so slowly over his hard-on. Naruto winced and his body tensed, he shut his eyes and let out a pathetic whimper. Sasuke continued to slowly pull the clothing down his thighs and legs, he gently slipped them off of his body entirely and cast them aside like all the other clothing. Sasuke brought his mouth to Naruto's ear again, "Did I hurt you Naruto? I tried to be careful about your ankle." Naruto's eyes snapped open, Sasuke could still think straight enough to remember his ankle when he himself had forgotten about it.

"Sasuke... you ... didn't ... hurt me." Naruto breathed out.

"This next part may hurt, but I'll try not to hurt you as much as I can." Sasuke said before he placed his fingers in his mouth. Naruto frowned, then his eyes widened, Sasuke began to suck on his fingers slowly and lovingly, rolling over them with his tongue and coating them nicely with his saliva, moaning softly as he did so. He slowly pulled his fingers out of his mouth and smirked at the awestruck look on Naruto's face that practically screamed, 'Could you do that to me next?'

"Don't worry Naruto. You're next." He purred into Naruto's ear. While he was there he nipped at the earlobe. Naruto started to take more shallow hasty breaths; he couldn't get enough air in him no matter how hard he tried. Sasuke positioned his finger at Naruto's entrance. He gently pushed in, he watched Naruto's face for any signs of pain but the blonde mostly looked shocked at these new sensations. Sasuke started to slide his finger out slowly, he marveled at the sounds Naruto was making. He quickened his pace and watched as Naruto thrashed around, moaning and pleading incoherently, and grasping the bed sheets like they were his last holds on sanity, they might have been.

He inserted the second finger, and Naruto's face contorted with pain for a moment. He gave a small hiss of discomfort, Sasuke paused and watched the look of pain melt into one of pleasure. Only then did he start moving again. Sasuke started to scissor his fingers, stretching Naruto's entrance for what was to come, and in doing so he brushed a certain spot that made Naruto's eyes snap open as he let out his loudest scream yet.

Sasuke thought for a moment that he had hurt the other boy when Naruto suddenly gained enough coherency to gasp, "Oh GOD! ... What was THAT? Oh, do it again ... oh ... ahh. ... Ahh! AHH! HARDER! UGH! Oh, _more_! Ah! ... _AHH_!"

Spurred on by Naruto's cries, Sasuke searched for that spot again, and again he lightly brushed it. Once he figured out where it was he stated hitting it over and over again. When had he inserted the third finger? Naruto was slipping in and out of coherence again; he would start half formed sentences, or beg for Sasuke to go faster. Or he would try to talk and end up saying a jumble of sounds that all sounded erotic to Sasuke.

No matter what Naruto did, whine, moan, writhe, thrust onto the fingers to force them deeper, pant, and most especially to faces he made, it was all pushing Sasuke to the limits of his will power. He wanted to at least cum inside of Naruto but the way things were shaping up that might not happen.

Sasuke reluctantly removed his fingers from within Naruto, the boy gave such a whine of displeasure Sasuke considered putting them back in. Using the precum that was already half all over him as lube he positioned himself at Naruto's entrance. Naruto blinked, Sasuke pushed inside slowly and Naruto let out a whimper of pain, he stopped. Apparently he stopped for too long because Naruto took it upon himself to get Sasuke the rest of the way inside. Wrapping his legs around Sasuke's hips he impaled himself until Sasuke was completely inside him.

It felt so hot and tight and good. Sasuke had to breathe a few times to keep himself from coming right them and there. But Naruto was getting impatient again. "Saa- ...Ke ... _move_. Please..." Sasuke obliged, starting slow for his sake as much as Naruto's. He searched for that spot of Naruto's and found it soon enough, Naruto was loosing control again and started shouting.

"OH! YES! THERE! HARDER! FASTER! AHH! OH, GOD! SA! SA! _SASUKE_!" Naruto came between them screaming Sasuke's name, when he came he also clenched his muscles tight around Sasuke and it only took two or three or thrusts into him before he came as well.

Naruto lost consciousness shortly afterwards.

* * *

_You are the utter embodiment of the word moron! Didn't I warn you about rash actions?_ The Kyuubi shouted. Naruto suddenly realized his surroundings, he was sitting on a floor of some kind, there was the Kyuubi so much smaller then he usually seemed but still as big as a house. And the Kyuubi wasn't sealed behind bars.

Naruto made a move to run away but found his body was too heavy to move much at all. The Kyuubi laughed, _Don't bother, your dreaming. I'm talking to you through your dreams. _Naruto was still confused but brushed it off for now, 'I am NOT the embodiment of the word moron!' he shouted up at the demon.

_Yes, you are._ The Kyuubi said stubbornly. _And I can prove it. You just had hot, unbridled, sex with that boy didn't you? _Naruto blushed up to his ears. Had that really been what just happened?

_Yes, that was what happened! You kept me up with your damn screaming!_ The Kyuubi snapped, Naruto blushed harder. _Well, guess what? I hope you like whoever just did you 'cause you're stuck with them!_

Naruto looked at the fox, it's tails were twitching behind it in an odd way. If Naruto didn't know better, he'd of guessed that the old fox was embarrassed. The demon continued, _I'm the kyuubi no kitsune. Meaning I'm a kitsune, and that means the mating patterns of kitsune are mine. Did I mentionkitsune mate for life?_ Whatever the fox was saying it was starting to get through to Naruto. Kitsune mate for life...

_You know,_The fox said almost thinking aloud,_ if you hadn't been so damn dependant on my chakra and been exposed to it so often then MAYBE you'd be able to lead a normal life. But congratulations, you just chose the ONLY person your ever going to have sex with and the position your going to be in for the rest of you life. Why'd you have to be the uke?_

Naruto... had been the uke? And he was going to be? Forever? With Sasuke? NO! 'No way! I'm not ever going to let Sasuke near me ever again.'

_I wouldn't recommend that._ The fox said, now more calm after ranting a bit. It was blithely scratching behind it's ear with it's hind leg. _You'll suffer severe mood swings. He's your mate now. Even if you didn't like him before you like him now._

'What a load of bull shit!' Naruto screamed up at the fox, 'I like Saukra-chan! I have for years. And I won't suffer mood swings!'

_Oh really, is that a fact?_ The Kyuubi said disbelievingly, _Well if that's the case what if I told you that that boy left to get as far away from you as possible because the sight of you makes him sick to his stomach?_

Naruto felt a jolt in his chest, a sharp pain that made him clutch his jacket. It wouldn't go away, it felt like someone was shoving a dull knife into his heart but he couldn't find the sweet release of death. A drop of water fell onto his hand. Naruto looked up, it was raining.

'Why?' Naruto asked, confused.

_This is your dream. Since you don't cry, it's raining._ The kyuubi said looking up as the water cascaded down it's fur. _But seriously, it's just a dream, if you want to cry I'm not going to get the chance to tell anyone and no one's going to see you do it. Oh and another thing, don't get so worked up over a verbal example._

_Now just try to imagine anyone coming to you and them throwing themselves at your feet. Anyone but that Sasuke boy_. The Kyuubi said trying to thoroughly prove his point. Naruto thought hard but only Sasuke kept coming to mind, the thought of Sakura doing that was just disturbing and it made Naruto's skin crawl.

_You see?_ The Kyuubi said clearly ready to go on to the next point and get this whole warped version of 'The Birds And The Bees' over with. _Mates are vital, without your mate you'll get really down, if it goes on too long it'll escalade to depression. You'll lose the will to do things like missions, going to that ramen shop and training. And that will continue to get worse until one of three things happens._

'And those things are?' Naruto asked.

Using it's tails as visuals it ticked off the options. _The best thing that could happen for you would be for your mate to return and give loads of attention. You'll be clingy for a week or longer depending on how long he's been gone. _It raised a second tail. _Or he can not return for years and years, eventually your mind will snap and you'll most likely go insane. If he returns after you've snapped you won't recognize him, you'll be incoherent and possibly violent._ It raised a third tail. _Or, he can die or just never come back, and if you don't go insane you'll most likely take your own life._

Naruto was speechless, the Kyuubi sighed, T_his is why I told you to be careful. With Kitsune it's alright because they only fall in love once, but the human heart is much more fickle. If for any reason your mate leaves you at any time your heart will not change. If he tells you to never go near him again you'll respect his wishes and suffer silently. Your life has been put into the hands of someone else._Itleaned down tolook at Naruto between the eyes,_How does it feel to be me?_ It said sneering awfully.

Naruto thought about it. If he were to die then so would the Kyuubi. It has no choice but to deal with the decisions he makes, Naruto didn't like the idea at all.

_If it turns out that this was a one time only thing you do know you're in big trouble right?_ Naruto scowled at the fox.

'Shut up! I'm not THAT stupid!' He shouted.

_Right._ The Kyuubi said patronizingly,_ You can't be. That other boy has to be stupider then you are. To fall for you and try to seduce you and all that. _

'Don't you say things like that about my Sasuke!' Naruto shouted, willing himself to stand up so he could stamp his foot at the demon, 'He is Not stupid! He the smartest genin and he's always the best at everything. He has those beautiful sharingan eyes and he's really loyal. And he's really sensitive and kind, he's honest and he has the sexiest voice ever and he's a really good kisser and--'

Naruto clapped a hand to his mouth and wished he were big enough to knock that infuriating grin off that huge foxes face. Whether he liked it or not he was in love with Sasuke now.

_Good night, Kit. This time, please just let me have my nap. _The Kyuubi turned it's back on Naruto.

'Fuck you, you old fur ball! Because YOU decide to pull a Nara and NOT tell me what the hell was going on in the first place makes this all your fault!'

Out of Naruto's line of sight the fox smirked. It wasn't about to let that boy waste his feelings on that walking pink nightmare. The Uchiha boy would take much better care of it's vessel then that girl. Now for that nap it had been wanting for the past few years...

**End chapter Six**

Damn this was really hard to write! I now know why it takes me so long to write hentai. Because I have to be up at three in the morning to write it! Oh dear god it's 3:45 AM! ... in 15 minutes my mom's gonna wake up. If she catches me up at this hour I'm dead!

Next chapter is more then half done and will be up in about a week or less. That is my stupid apology for making you wait so damn long. But I just seemed to have inspiration in everything else. Including some new plot bunnies I need to get typed up and sent out to my three beta's.

I beg your forgiveness on the insanely long wait and the uber cruel cliffie! –bows till throws back out.- Ow, damnit.

More pervy stuff with our bishies to come! Plus more ribbon fun! And what's a SasuNaru without Sasuke seducing Naruto? YAOI POWA!

3:53 I'm pushing my luck with this. I don't need to get caught when it was my birthday yesterday... they might take away my presents they gave me... that would be bad... 3:55? Why can't I stop typing DAMNIT!

-sorry again...  
Novelist (TT.TT I feel so bad)


	8. The Ribbon Epidemic

**Source of all evil: Pink Ribbon  
By: Shozetsku  
Disclaimer/Warnings/Authoress Notes:  
**Novelist: Kakashi-sensei... O.O -drools-  
Kakashi: --' umm, Yes?  
Novelist: Please do my disclaimer.  
Kakashi: Sure, this girl here -points to novelist- owns nothing but Sachiko, the made up company Choco Tree Chocolates, and a lot of free time.  
Novelist: Damn straight.  
Kakashi: Anything else?  
Novelist: would you let me see your whole face? I'll give you this special edition Icha-Icha with full color photo illustrations. -displays bribery-  
Kakashi: O.O -drools-  
Novelist: Please?  
Kakashi: -Takes off mask and lifts hitai-ate out of the line of sight of the readers-  
Novelist: -nosebleeds, dies happy and hands over book-  
Kakashi:3

SasuxNaru-ness! Bashing of the color pink, Sakura bashing, cursing, basic insanity, and a slight shojo-ai warning. Not for the kiddies! Oh no, not at all! -evil laughter-

**Chapter 7:** The Ribbon Epidemic

Sasuke was walking down the streets of Konoha carrying a few bags of groceries back to his house and Naruto who was still having trouble walking for long periods of time, whom also had been staying at his house for the past few days. Sasuke almost smiled at the thought, he liked having Naruto in the house. There wasn't that awful silence that used to be ever present anymore... not to mention the newfound lover was a definite plus. Sasuke hardly ever paid those around him much attention, but when some girl shrieks loudly, the natural reaction is to turn around and look.

"What do you mean?" Said squealing girl shrieked, who turned out to be a Kunoichi. The ninja boy, she had assumingly been talking to, took his hands gingerly off his ears. Sasuke felt for him, his ears had to have taken the brunt of that abuse.

"I mean you're out of luck. I've already been given a ribbon." The boy said evenly, Sasuke started to pay more attention to their conversation. Did he just say ribbon? Sure enough there was a green ribbon in the girl's hand. But where was the boy's, if he had one?

"Where? I don't see any ribbon! You're a liar! You just don't want to go out with me!" The girl screamed going into hysterics.

"It's not just that I don't want to go out with you, because honestly I really don't. But I really have gotten a ribbon. See?" The boy lifted his sleeve to reveal a blue ribbon tied on his upper arm into a bow.

"How can you be so cruel? If you get a ribbon from a girl you should put it somewhere where it can be seen so other girls don't think you're single! Like me!" she crushed the ribbon in her hand and then threw it onto the ground. Then she looked at him furiously. He spat on the ribbon and walked off.

"Brush it off! You're supposed to be a shinobi!" he called over his shoulder. Sasuke thought he had been a bit harsh, and then he saw a second Kunoichi come out from the crowd and link her arm in his. Sasuke realized that he'd been showing off to avoid getting into trouble with his girlfriend. More then likely the two girls didn't get along. Sasuke continued walking, and as he did so he noticed that several boys were wearing ribbons of various colors. He raised a brow. What was going on?

He decided to ask, he randomly chose a boy wearing a gray ribbon.

"Oi! You! What's with the ribbons?" the boy and his group of friends he was talking with stopped and looked at him.

"Aren't you Uchiha Sasuke?"

"Yes, and I don't care who you are. I just want my question answered." The boy bristled uncomfortably but answered none the less.

"Girls giving boys ribbons is the latest craze. The boy constantly wears the ribbon to show that he's serious about the girl who gave it to him. I think the girls think it's to symbolize that they are tied to each other but I don't know too much about that. And the funny thing is that no one seems to know where it started or who started it. But I heard from my ninja buddy that's it started here and has at least spread to wind country and water country by visitors who see us wearing the ribbons and asking around."

"Wind? Water?" Sasuke asked thunderstruck. "This isn't just in our village anymore? This is starting to happen everywhere?"

"You know I heard that that Konohamaru kid started it when he got a baby blue ribbon from some girl. Word is he wears it on his neck!" One boy piped up.

"That's pretty bold for a kid!" Another said with a small laugh.

"What's that got to do with anything?" Sasuke asked, though he realized that Naruto was more then likely the one that started this. The first boy answered his question again.

"Usually the guy just wears it around his wrist or his arm. Wearing it around the neck is more noticeable so it can mean one of two things, depending on the age. One, it can be like a promise ring that means they'll wait for each other till marriage, or two, especially if they're older, it means they're lovers."

Sasuke looked at him wide-eyed.

"Are you sure some pinheaded girl didn't start thing whole mess? I mean, a guy wearing a ribbon. You've got to really like her to do something like that."

"H-hey! It's not that bad! At least the ribbon isn't pink!" The gray ribboned boy said, his cheeks reddening slightly. Sasuke scowled at the comment, "So are you saying that a boy must really be completely serious about a girl to wear a pink ribbon day after day?"

The boys all took a few steps back. The anger radiating off the Uchiha boy was frightening. And in case you were wondering Impulsive Sasuke and Unreserved Sasuke had to be restrained by Responsible Sasuke and Reserved Sasuke form totally killing the boys. Though, all of them wouldn't have been to upset if they suddenly died, preferably by his hand.

"If a boy will wear pink for a girl he's got to be serious." The youngest boy said, he had no ribbon. "I haven't met a girl I'd do that for yet. She'd be awesome."

Sasuke's grip on the grocery bags tightened. He walked away from that group of boys quickly, lest he accidentally killed them in a blind rage and have to fill out a ton of paperwork for Tsunade. He arrived at his door in a sour temper indeed. He found Naruto where he left him, sitting in the living room looking at the shrine to his family. Sasuke stormed into the kitchen and angrily began unloading the bags and putting things away. Naruto walked, albeit slightly unsteadily, into the kitchen and over to Sasuke. Sasuke tore the plastic bag off the egg carton and flung open the refrigerator door. Naruto came up behind him and caught Sasuke's wrist.

The effect was instantaneous. Sasuke felt the anger spill out of him.

"You're going to break them." Naruto said softly.

"You shouldn't walk so much, you'll never heal properly." Sasuke told him. Putting the eggs away gently.

"You're angry. Why?" The question was simple, innocent, and completely standard. But for some reason when Naruto said it Sasuke's anger returned ten times over.

"Why do you still wear that disgusting pink ribbon? Sakura gave that thing to you! Do you still care about her? Have I just been living a glorious dream only to wake up one morning alone and forgotten? When she comes back what will you do?"

"Nothing. I don't like her anymore." Naruto said simply. But that only made Sasuke angrier, "You've liked her since the academy! Now you suddenly don't?"

"That's right. If you hadn't been the first it would never have been you. Now there's no one for me _but_ you."

"You lying bastard!" Sasuke snarled.

Naruto felt his eyes sting. The light from the window began to fade a bit. The clouds were growing darker, it would rain soon. Naruto could smell the rain in the air, or was that just Sasuke? Naruto tried to find the words to convince Sasuke that he was not lying, but there seemed to be no other way.

(Hey! I haven't seen the whole series of Naruto. Does Sasuke ever find out about the Kyuubi? Well I'm going to work around this. So as of right now Sasuke does NOT know about the Kyuubi.)

"With kitsune it's for life. Even if I wanted to fall for someone else there will never be anyone but you anymore." Naruto said quietly, he felt his nails digging into his skin. If he didn't let up he was going to draw blood. But at the moment Naruto found that he didn't care.

Never before had he even considered talking about the Kyuubi within him to anyone who didn't already know about it. This was a big risk he was taking, if Sasuke left him he could really die! Naruto prayed that Sasuke wouldn't leave him when he found out.

"What do kitsune have to do with anything right now? Make sense, usuratongachi!" Sasuke yelled.

"The day I was born the huge Kyuubi no Kitsune rampaged our village. And the fourth hokage sealed it in a newborn," Sasuke rolled his eyes, "Everyone knows that story. I'm still waiting for an answer." Naruto got red on the face, He was about to tell this prick his deepest, darkest secret? He didn't have much longer to live then, he thought bitterly. "Your aren't listening! On my birthday it was sealed in a new born, inside me! My mom gave birth to the container of the nine-tailed fox! So kitsune actually have a lot to do with everything at the moment!" Naruto stopped, this was harder to say then he originally thought it would be. His heart was racing right then, he was so afraid of rejection it almost consumed him. "Kitsune mate for life. And you and I... people are more complex then kitsune, we fall in and out of love... But because it was you... even if I don't want it to be there will never be anyone else for me. Now everything is up to you. Whatever you decide to do, we'll both have to live with what happens."

Sasuke's brow furrowed, "What'll happen?" he asked. Sasuke braced himself for anything that Naruto could say to him, but he could have never prepared himself for what Naruto said next.

"If you choose to take me on as your lifelong lover then nothing would make me happier. Life would move on mostly like it usually does but we'll periodically have sex, or talk, or hang out, or sleep together-"

"Kakashi-sensei is rubbing off on you. You said sex twice." Naruto looked at Sasuke confusedly, "No I didn't." then he thought over what he said and gave Sasuke a look that said, 'You Pervert!'. He sighed, "Geez Sasuke, I don't just want to sleep with you. I just wanna sleep with you, by my side. Can you think of anything nicer then waking up in the morning and you're not in a cold empty apartment?"

Sasuk's eyes widened at the magnitude of that simple statement, to no longer wake up to the bitter solitude, to have at least one person by him. One person was enough for him.

"But, if you choose to reject me for whatever reason, you get tired of me, you get mad at me, you hate me. Whatever reason at all, well, pretty much the same thing will happen. You'll go about your life and you'll probably never see me again. I'll be somewhere alone, holed up in my room most likely and I'll refuse to move, to eat, and so on. I'll go into a deep depression that will rob me of my will to live. But I won't go to you. If it will make you happiest I'll force myself to never see you again. And it'll most likely kill me and if not I'll go insane. If I don't go insane then I'll either take my own life or have someone kill me. I have a lot of people who want me dead. I'd do it all for you... but Sasuke... I don't want to die alone." Naruto blushed suddenly and clasped his hands to his mouth. Judging by this reaction Sasuke guessed that Naruto hadn't meant to say that last part aloud. The thought tore his heart in two.

Sasuke took a few steadying steps back as he tried to wrap his mind around everything Naruto had just told him. He knew one thing for sure, there was no way he'd leave Naruto after hearing all that. Sasuke tried to comprehend the situation Naruto was in, just because of a fit of mindless passion he had to put his very life forevermore into the hands of another. With the knowledge that if they find someone else or grow apart from him he'd suffer more then he already had. Unreserved Sasuke wanted to take Naruto into his arms. Responsible Sasuke wanted to whisper reassuring things to him. Impulsive Sasuke wanted to wipe away the tears that were sliding almost unseen down Naruto's marked cheeks.

...Wait... Naruto was crying? Naruto never cried! He had made some promise to himself or something and would only cry when he was happy. Sasuke did as Impulsive Sasuke suggested only did it one better. He gently cupped Naruto's face and licked away the salty tears. Naruto looked at Sasuke with pure joy on his face, and new tears formed as he smiled sappily at the taller boy. Sasuke felt the need to say something, anything. "You've never spoken about your mother before."

"I never knew her. When you give birth to a kid who's got a demon in them the mother dies." Sasuke instantly regretted saying that.

"Ne, Sasuke. Why were you angry?" Naruto said also feeling the discomfited atmosphere and trying to change the subject.

"I thought you liked Sakura. There's this new crazy fad going around that when a girl likes a boy she gives him a ribbon to wear to symbolize their bond or something. Rumor is that Konohamaru started it." Sasuke said knowing how the blonde would react before he even reacted.

Naruto drew, regrettably away from Sasuke and scowled, "What! He got that from me! He got an early birthday present from some girl and he just put the ribbon around his neck 'cause I fed him some bullshit story! I don't even remember what I told him."

Sasuke laughed, "Then what are you getting worked up for?" he said and put Naruto back where he belonged, (in Sasuke's opinion anyways) in his embrace.

"Because something I started became popular and I don't even get credit for it!" Naruto pouted.

Sasuke laughed again. "Do you want it known that you wore a ribbon for over a month for a girl that never liked you and was only playing a hideous joke on you?"

Naruto looked up horrorstruck. "Sh-sh-sh-She was? No way! I gave her great gifts!"

"A box of Choco Tree chocolates, one of which were missing. And silver Sakura blossom earrings with a matching necklace charm." Sasuke said recalling the conversation between Sakura and Shikamaru. (who was disguised as Ino) Naruto started and looked at him, wondering how he had known that but didn't ask. He had something else on his mind, "That one was the one that I gave to Hinata-chan!" Naruto said indignantly, "I went to her first to ask for some extra courage ..." Naruto trailed off, Sasuke merely studied the red faced blonde in his arms, the thoughts in his mind were almost visible in Naruto's azure eyes.

"Ne, Sasuke? Do you think that Hinata likes me? 'Cause when I think back on it every time I'm around she blushes and stammers more then usual. That's too bad, a few das ago if I had figured that out I might have given her a chance. Poor Hinata."

Sasuke unconsciously tightened his hold on the blonde, he decided then that as of right now that Naruto was far too popular for his own good. He would not allow anyone else have his foxy little lover. Immature Sasuke giggled, although he didn't entirely know what was going on, at the cute new name for Naruto. Responsible Sasuke ushered him out of the room, just in case.

"So that means I can stop wearing the ribbon now!" Naruto said jovially. Sasuke immediately flashed back to his dream about Naruto shirtless with is wrists tied to a hook by said pink accessory.

"No. Keep wearing it." Sasuke said firmly. Naruto tried to pull back again but Sasuke held him fast and he could only pull away too far.

"Why Sasuke?" Naruto pouted, Sasuke flushed a bit, it should not be humanly possible to be that adorable. Even his voice was cuter then usual. But Sasuke wasn't going to change his mind. He had many things he wanted to do with Naruto. And a number of them involved that ribbon.

There was that and the fact that he didn't want anyone stealing his newfound boyfriend. Both were good reasons.

"They say that when you wear the ribbon around your neck it means you have a lover. And the more feminine the color the more serious you are for the other person. You can't get any more girly then pink. And let's face it you're not going to go for anyone else."

"But I started that dumb fad by accident! It's my thing and I don't have any say in it! I don't wanna wear this Sasuke!" Naruto whined going into chibi form and pounding Sasuke's chest while crying tears of indignation. But Sasuke had already had a plan for this and now was a good time to see if it would work.

He wordlessly took the zipper of naruto's orange jacket and pulled it slowly downward. Naruto stopped hitting and crying. He just stood there as Sasuke pushed his jacket off of one of his shoulders and began to sensuously kiss and lick him from his ear to his neck to his nape to his collarbone and then back up again. All at a tortuously slow pace. Naruto blushed and his breathing grew shallow and ragged. He began to get hot again. He moaned at Sasuke's mind blowing actions and forgot what they had even been talking about, why had he been mad at Sasuke a second ago? Who could be mad at anyone when Sasuke was attacking his neck like that?

Sasuke decided to step it up a bit to really seal his little fox's fate. He reached down with one hand and started to rub Naruto through his clothes. Naruto gave a throaty cry, he wanted more of this. He felt like he'd agree to anything as long as Sasuke didn't stop. But that was exactly what Sasuke wanted.

And Sasuke did stop. Naruto looked pleadingly at him to continue, but Sasuke shook his head.

"You have to keep wearing the ribbon around your neck."

Naruto didn't argue, he felt too good. But he didn't answer either, his head was too fuzzy. Sasuke grabbed Naruto through his pants and Naruto screamed as his legs gave out, they both fell down to the floor. Sasuke felt Naruto's weight over him as the panting blonde looked at him and he tried to get his breathing to slow.

"Wear the ribbon." Sasuke said.

"Don't stop Sasuke." Naruto begged.

"Wear the ribbon around your neck." Sasuke repeated. "Wear it, and I'll make you feel really good."

Naruto leaned down, "I'll do anything you want, just don't be so cruel as to stop now." He whispered as he brought his lips down on Sasuke. Sasuke smiled. And obliged his Naruto.

Success! But his victory came at a heavy price, after Naruto regained his senses he proclaimed that Sasuke would be sleeping on the sofa for a week with no intimate contact. Sasuke warned Naruto that he could make him break his own promise, but Naruto just said, "If you try to make a move on me before I'm done being mad at you I'll add another three weeks! Mating season's almost over so I'll be fine and something tells me you're the one with a bigger libido."

Sasuke cursed his luck for picking such a stubborn lover.

Naruto wanted to go and visit Iruka, so naturally Sasuke accompanied him. At their old sensei's door Naruto distinctly remembered to knock. There was no answer. He knocked louder, there was rustling noises, they were probably making a scramble to make themselves look presentable. He banged on the door so hard he rattled the door frame, "Sensei! Open up! It's me Naruto!"

Kakashi's voice could be heard through the door. "There's no one home! Go buy yourself some ramen Naruto!" Sasuke raised an eyebrow, what was Kakashi doing there?

Naruto grimaced, "I brought Sasuke, baka sensei! He heard you!"

Kakashi cursed, Iruka chuckled, "Well that could have gone better. Be right there! I just need to pick up a bit."

Naruto smacked a hand to his forehead. "You do that sensei, please." He said quietly to the door. Sasuke became even more confused, "what's going on?"

Naruto sighed at the door, "Kakashi-sensei often drops by Iruka's place to complain about how much of a handful I can be." He said. Sasuke lightly hit him upside the head playfully, "And you're soo great at lying that I don't even realize you're giving me half-assed excuses." He said sarcastically.

Naruto was about to argue when Iruka threw open the door. "Sorry about that! I'm not home much so I haven't cleaned up in a while." He said cheerfully.

Kakashi could be found in the kitchen, sipping tea over his Icha-Icha book. His dark blue shinobi uniform shirt wasn't all the way tucked in, nor was his vest zipped. Iruka's hair looked to be coming out of it's ponytail, and he sounded winded. Sasuke thought he pretty much had what had recently transpired figured out. But he never would have pegged either teacher to be into guys, Iruka was just too, seemingly normal and Kakashi was always reading those hentai books which were assumingly of a boy and a girl.

He sat down at the table after helping Naruto into his seat, "Had some nice hot sex too, sensei?" he asked casually.

Smash! There were white crystals all over the place now. Iruka had dropped the sugar bowl at Sasuke's comment. "SASUKE! That's not appropriate-"

"Yup, very nice actually," Kakashi said before putting his book down to retrieve the dustpan. Iruka was still stuttering when Kakashi returned and began to sweep up the most part of the mess. He walked over to one of Iruka's cabinets and pulled out a larger container of sugar. He handed it to Naruto who took it stiffly, also staring Sasuke for his boldness. He sat down at the table again and sipped his tea once more before adding, "You said 'had hot sex too.' Who have you been banging? You better not accidentally impregnate some girl. Do I need to give you the birds and the bees talk?" Iruka fainted, Kakashi was at his side to catch him in an instant; and just to prove he could multitask, he had his little orange book in his hands, reading.

Sasuke sighed, "Is this why you're always late sensei?"

Kakashi smiled through his ever present mask, "I chose a rather troublesome lover who doesn't like to get out of bed in the morning."

Sasuke nodded and sighed again, "I know how you feel," he pointed at Naruto, "getting this one to wake up is no easy task, especially after sex-"

Naruto kicked Sasuke hard to make him shut up. He glared over at his newfound lover and snarled, "Two weeks on the sofa if you don't stop talking, and I'll add another week for any other _word_ you say on the subject of our love life."

Sasuke rubbed his head idly, "Whatever, the subject has been changed. I'm barely going to last the week anyways."

Kakashi looked to Naruto, "_Your_ love life? So you're the lucky one that finally gets into the pants of our ice prince Sasuke?"

Naruto flung the hot teapot at Kakashi, who simply dodged.

"Do tell." Kakashi said still grinning. Naruto wanted to beat the silver haired jounin.

"Read your stupid books if you want to get off, hentai sensei." Naruto seethed through his teeth.

Sasuke rolled his eyes, "Naruto, calm down, you already smashed Iruka-sensei's teapot to smithereens, let's just all change the subject, I don't want to sleep on the couch any longer then I have to."

Kakashi looked between the two of them, "So what did you do to earn a week on the sofa?"

"He was being an evil, sadistic, creep who gets his perverse kicks by manipulating others into doing publicly embarrassing things." Naruto said sternly glaring at Sasuke from over his teacup.

"Huh?"

"I tricked him into continuing to wear his ribbon." Sasuke said carefully, he really did not like the idea of sleeping on the sofa.

"OH! So you seduced him into doing it! I've been thinking of trying that on Iruka but I'm hesitant about the chance of it backfiring."

"Do so and die slowly Kakashi-sensei." Naruto growled drawing a kunai knife to the jounin's throat. But Kakashi just laughed, "Chill out Naruto, I'm only teasing you. But could you try to wake Iruka up for me? I have something I need to discuss with Sasuke."

Sasuke was led out of the room by Kakashi leaving Naruto with the still passed out Iruka. "What do you need to discuss with me sensei?"

Kakashi scratched behind his head, "I don't really know how to say this delicately so I'm going to just be blunt about it."

Sasuke nodded indulgently, "How this is different from any other time you've spoken to any of us is beyond me, but go ahead all the same."

"Did you use protection or a lubricant?" Kakashi said very seriously, Sasuke jerked back.

"Who do you take us for? Naruto and I haven't done that sort of thing with anyone else, and we're not going to. Plus it's not like I can impregnate him, he's a guy."

"I can take your word that you've never had sex before but how do you know Naruto hasn't? And how do you know you'll stay together?" Kakashi said, still unusually serious.

Sasuke thought back to what Naruto had said, _if you hadn't been the first it wouldn't have been you. Now there's no one for me but you._ "I am completely confident that he was a virgin and that he won't leave me." He said smiling.

Kakashi blinked, "What do you know about this that you think we don't?"

But Sasuke smiled again. "It's not my place to tell you. If you should know, then I guess you'll find out." He said, quoting Naruto. Kakashi frowned.

"Right. Then I guess I have nothing to worry about for the time being, but really, if nothing else go and buy some hand lotion." Kakashi said sighing.

Sasuke didn't quite understand but nodded.

**End chapter 7!**

Hehehe! Hand lotion! Sasuke'll figure it out!

Next chappie the week of sleeping on the sofa is over. Other then that I have no frickin' clue!

I take requests for this chapter! If it's asked for a lot or if I like the idea I will try to work it in somewhere between now and when Sakura comes back.

I wuv you all for giving me over **100 reviews**! –cries tears of **_utter joy_**- **_THANK YOU!_**

Do you guys want to see some more Sakura punishment? If so tell me what!

And who do you want to do the disclaimer next?

_**FEEDBACK IS LOVELY!**_

-Novelist


	9. Meet The Parent?

**Source of all evil: Pink Ribbon  
By: Shozetsku  
Disclaimer/Warnings/Authoress Notes:  
**Novelist: I have invited Itachi to do my disclaimer!  
Itachi: Is that why I'm here? I was under the impression that I was crudely kidnapped by another of my fangirls.  
Novelist: -is indignant- Just do my disclaimer you smexy bishonen!  
Itachi: Fine. She owns nothing, especially not her sanity.  
Novelist: Nope!  
Itachi: Now what was this I was hearing about an all-you-can-eat buffet?  
Novelist: -Shakes head- Itachi, if you didn't rock so much you would totally suck. But you are too freakin' cool to suck! The smexy way you talk, and move, and you made such a fool out of Sasuke... -trails off-  
Itachi: Where's the food?

SasuxNaru-ness! Bashing of the color pink, Sakura bashing, cursing, basic insanity, and a slight shojo-ai warning. Not for the kiddies! Oh no, not at all! -evil laughter- Sasunaru here on out baby!

**Chapter 8:** Meet the Parent?

Sakura readjusted the pack she was carrying. It was really bad for her back to wear the backpack so low that it covered her butt but is was the only way to ensure that Sachiko wouldn't try and pinch it or anything. She sighed exasperatedly, she hated this! Sachiko was clingy, obnoxious, pushy, completely immune to everything that Sakura tried to do to shake the girl's affections, and the worst part was that she was extremely creepy.

Sakura was so wrapped up in being miserable and playing keep as far away from Sachiko as possible that she never stopped to think about the similarities in Sachiko's behavior to her own whenever Sasuke was around.

Kurenai sighed as Sachiko tried yet again to hit on Sakura. It was slightly creepy as Sachiko was a girl but Kurenai had several friends and even more acquaintances that were homosexual for it to faze her too much. As long as it didn't endanger the priestesses that they were escorting Kurenai saw no real reason to step in. For one thing it ensured the location of at least one of the girls at all times. It had become a given that Sachiko would be within touching distance of Sakura.

Ino had taken to avoiding both of them on this long trip. It was ridiculous to her, the whole thing was completely pointless. They were walking to some special spring very far away, completely passing by well over twenty other springs. They had to stop at least once a day for hours at a time so the priestesses could pray. And they couldn't travel by boat or anything. The whole journey had to be made on foot from beginning to end.

There was a huge river not too far from the path hey were traveling that they often bathed in and they couldn't use a boat. And that was another thing! They took long baths every day, not that that was a bad thing in the least, because they had to remain pure in every sense of the word. Ino was as crazy about hygiene as the next girl, but even she wouldn't sit in the freezing cold river water scrupulously scrubbing at every inch of her body twice. The water was to cold for that.

Hinata was rather enjoying herself, the priestesses were very interesting women and had enthralling stories that they were more then willing to share. Hinata was more then eager to listen; it passed the time and she was making a lot of friends. So far there had only been one or two instances where their journey was interrupted, both times by different groups of disgusting smelling bandits. These clumsy intruders were easily dealt with as the kunoichi indulged in a little showing off for their clients. And by the request of the head priestess, they refrained from doing serious harm. Both times all the girls stopped and prayed for their attackers.

Tenten loved the outdoors; she loved nature and the fresh air. She didn't know if it was from the prayers of the preistesses or what it was but the weather had not once turned rainy or cold. It felt almost like a camping trip or a 'girls only' outing. And no Gai-sensei or Lee or Neji, not that she didn't like her teammates but it was just too nice to get away for a bit and just have a brief estrogen hype.

* * *

Back in the forests of Konoha, Neji was running through the trees. He hardly dared to believe what his Byakugan was showing him. He stopped in a clearing he hadn't known was there before, he deactivated the Byakugan. He could see the shadow, which confirmed his assumption. But what on earth was Gaara doing in the forests of Konoha?

"Why are you here?" he asked, tho politely, remembering that Gaara was still the Kazekage. Gaara stepped forward, "I like the view." he said simply. Neji snorted, "It takes three days to get to Konoha from Suna. It must be some view." Gaara merely pointed. Neji turned around to see the Hokage monument. And the view _was_ spectacular.

"Come back at sunset. It looks even better with a bright orange sun from behind." Gaara said quietly.

"This can't be all you come for." Neji said tearing his eyes away from the monument. Gaara smiled forlornly. Gaara didn't smile often, but for some reason this didn't feel like a smile, nor did it look like one.

"It's not all. But what I come to see isn't always here."

And with that cryptic statement Gaara turned to go. "Come back at sunset. The view really is better."

"Will you be here?" Neji asked before he could stop himself. Gaara nodded. And then he disappeared into the shadows. Neji could have easily followed him but he didn't bother to, Suna was Konoha's ally, and Gaara was Kazekage. Besides which, Gaara was much stronger then Neji, and he didn't seem to be there on any suspicious business.

Later, in the afternoon before sunset he pondered whether he should go back to the clearing. Curiosity won out. He wanted to see why Gaara would make a three day trip, most likely without telling anyone where he was going either. Neji stood in the clearing; he raised a hand to shield his sensitive eyes from the sun. Gaara had been right, the view really was better at sunset. He wasn't sorry he had come.

"I told you." Spoke the voice of Gaara behind him.

Neji smiled and let his hand fall to his side. "You didn't lie. Nor did you exaggerate. But I never pegged you for the sentimental type."

Gaara stepped forward until he was next to Neji, a respectful two feet of space was kept between them. "What makes me seem sentimental? I came here at first, for another reason. I just so happened to find this."

"Lucky find." Neji observed. He didn't know Gaara very well but he thought it safe to assume that Gaara was opening up, at least a bit to him. It felt nice.

"Indeed. I seem to find many things I'm not looking for when I'm searching for something else." Gaara commented. They stood in silence as the sun sank lower on the horizon and darkened to red before dropping behind the Hokage monument. Night settled in over Konoha and Gaara turned to leave.

"Are you going home?" Neji asked.

Gaara nodded, "I've been gone long enough."

Neji didn't miss the implications; that Gaara had left several days ago. That Gaara had been in Konoha for a few days at least. And that Neji shouldn't expect him back too soon.

* * *

Iruka sat in his apartment grading papers. He glanced at the windows. Nailed shut. The door was booby trapped and his phone was disconnected. He needed to relax. He had to finish grading the stack of papers in front of him. Just getting them out of the way would solve everything.

Almost finished, the graded pile was bigger then the 'to be graded' pile. He was almost there. A hand took a handful of papers and there was a person who sat down across from him at his kitchen table. Kakashi clicked a pen and went to work reading a paper and grading it. Neither man said a word. Iruka was grateful that at least this time he wasn't going to have to fight Kakashi about getting his work done.

The stack of papers dwindled down to three, two, one. There were no more papers. Iruka looked at Kakashi, Kakashi just stared back as he watched Iruka place the stack safely in his bag that he always took to school.

"Can you un-nail my windows and let me out of my own apartment now?" Iruka asked, putting his hands on his hips and stressing the last word. It had been several hours now that Kakashi had held him prisoner in his own home.

"No can do Ru-ru." Kakashi sing-songed with a playful grin beneath his mask. "There's still the matter of why I did this in the first place, now, lets have some nice uninterrupted fun shall we?"

Iruka blushed and stammered and made his best half-hearted attempt to get the older man away from him, though it was a doomed and short effort.

* * *

Naruto and Sasuke wandered the streets of Konoha. There was a healthy distance between the two of them and Naruto's foot was healing nicely. Sasuke refused outright to go to Ichiraku's Ramen Shop so they were trying to decide where they were going to eat. Naruto stared coldly at any boy who passed them wearing any color ribbon. They hardly ever wore them around the neck, and his was the only pink one he had seen so far. Sasuke's chuckles didn't help his mood. Sasuke tried to tell him that now he didn't stick out so much.

Naruto wouldn't listen. He tried to convince Sasuke to at least let him get another color ribbon. But Sasuke squashed that idea. Strangely enough a pink ribbon around his neck was the most appropriate color and place for it. When Sasuke told the blonde so he had to duck several sharp pointy objects aimed at him.

"But Naruto it's true. The more effeminate the color the more devoted you are to your partner. You can't get girlier then pink. And to wear your ribbon around your neck is like a promise ring, or a statement that you're lovers and you're planning to stay with the person that gave you the ribbon."

Naruto scoffed, "Well then I really need to take this ribbon off then because Sakura is the one that got me this one. And I am most certainly NOT going near her." Naruto wasn't even fazed by the fact that no matter what anyone did he would be dead set on Sasuke for the rest of his life. He got over it.

Sasuke let loose a small chuckle, "While I'm thrilled to hear you say that, you do have a point. I don't think that I like the idea of that being Sakura's ribbon either. Tell you what. There's a shop that sells ribbons up ahead, lets get you one from me." Sasuke said suddenly very close to Naruto's ear and his warm breath playing on his sensitive skin.

Naruto's cheeks flared red, "B-Baka! Nowadays there's always a shop up ahead that sell ribbons. Damn girls and their stupid girly fads. And it's not even their fad! It's mine! I want my damn credit!"

They walked up to the little shop when something wonderful drifted past Naruto's nose. A crepe stand! Naruto pointed it out and tried to pull Sasuke towards it. But Sasuke was very intent on choosing a ribbon from the broad selection of colors. Naruto shrugged and asked what flavor Sasuke wanted; when Sasuke didn't answer Naruto went up on his own and bought himself a half chocolate half banana crepe.

When he returned Sasuke had narrowed his selection down to two different ribbons, one was the exact same color pink that Naruto was wearing at that very moment! The other one was black with intricate and very noticeable white lace edging. Naruto tried to imagine that ribbon around his neck. It put him in mind of a slutty maid with a feather duster and a waay too short skirt and matching garter belt.

"Definitely NOT!" Naruto said snatching the already cut length of black ribbon out of Sasuke's hand and slamming it down on the table. "I'll stick with the devil I know." Sasuke paid for the pink ribbon instead and then looked from Naruto, to his half eaten crepe then back to Naruto, "Where's mine?" he asked.

Naruto sniffed haughtily at him, "You didn't say anything when I asked you what you wanted so I got you nothing. Go buy your own if you really want one."

Sasuke shook his head and walked up to the crepe stand. With Sasuke gone and his back to Naruto, Naruto stole that opportunity to buy the black ribbon with white lace that Sasuke had picked out. The visual he had called to mind had given him a very naughty idea. He stuffed the ribbon away quickly and tried to recall where Jiraiya had hidden that maid outfit from his first drunken party...

* * *

Sasuke awoke one morning groggily to the thought that he was finally getting used to sleeping on the sofa. It was not a pleasant thought but he did have to admit that today the sofa felt really nice and comfy that morning. He had stopped bothering to count the days left that he would have to sleep on it; it was just depressing to think about. He rolled cautiously onto his side, as to not fall off, and felt something warm and alive snuggle into his chest.

On pure reflex Sasuke's eyes snapped open as though someone had screamed in his ear. Naruto, still asleep, snuggled again into Sasuke then rolled over with a soft whine. The blonde clearly did not want to wake up for the next couple of days. Sasuke smiled, he was no longer on the couch, Unreserved Sasuke did the happy dance in a little circle. Immature Sasuke joined in with Impulsive Sasuke and they all danced and looked like fools, as Indifferent Sasuke pointed out.

Impulsive Sasuke stopped suddenly with an evil grin on his face. Immature Sasuke was hurried out of the room. Impulsive Sasuke grinned wider and whispered something in Unreserved Sasuke's ear. Unreserved Sasuke promptly started bleeding from both nostrils. Indifferent Sasuke rolled his eyes and, sensing danger, tried to wake up Responsible Sasuke, who was no morning person.

"Hey, I just thought you might want to know that the idea of cross-dressing our Naruto is floating around this early in the morning."

"Imm ish leepin... cummak timmara." Responsible Sasuke mumbled groggily. Indifferent Sasuke sighed, "Jeez! Danger, Will Robinson! Red Alert! All hands to battle stations! C'mon you log, I just heard Impulsive Sasuke say 'cross-dressing.' And Unreserved Sasuke is going to pass out from nosebleed-related-blood-loss." THAT woke Responsible Sasuke up.

"Cross-dressing! This early in the morning? No way, that's happening! Why are you just standing there?" Responsible Sasuke looked incredulously at Indifferent Sasuke who sighed again, "Kamawanaiyo. I just thought you might like to know." (Kamawanaiyo loosely translates to 'I don't care.' or 'It doesn't matter.')

Impulsive Sasuke stuck his tongue out at Indifferent Sasuke. "Tattletale. Whose side are you on?"

Indifferent Sasuke shrugged noncommittally, "Yours? His? Who knows? I'm just on the side of good. Besides I only wanted a level playing field."

Sasuke tried to ignore how cute Naruto looked when he was asleep, how cute he would look in a sundress, and his growing urge to molest Naruto in his sleep. Well, his voices of reason, responsibility, and restraint were all still sleeping so, it wasn't long before he had given in.

Naruto began to become conscious of the waking world slowly to a hand massaging just the right spot on his neck, he let loose a small moan, it felt really good. His first thought was that he wouldn't mind waking up like this every morning.

Then Naruto felt the hand going under his pajama top and exploring the skin it found underneath. Naruto's eyes snapped open while his hands found those that were touching him this early in the midmorning. He grasped the wrists with unnecessary force and pulled them away from his body.

"Do you think of _anything _else?.!" he said sitting up in Sasuke's bed. He hadn't slept in his own apartment since that night almost two weeks ago, though neither boy minded. Sasuke chuckled softly. "I've been trying to wake you up for fifteen minutes now. I tried shaking you and everything. I just thought I might as well try this method before I threw you out of my bed."

Naruto opened his mouth to argue, sputtered incoherently, and eventually shut his mouth. Sasuke decided not to mention that he was lying through his teeth. Sasuke shifted in bed, "But since you're awake… let's exploit this fact and the fact that we don't have any missions today." Sasuke leaned in slowly for a kiss, he expected to be pushed away, to be yelled at, to be hit, he didn't expect Naruto to grab him by his overly long bangs and mash his mouth against the brunette's.

But was Sasuke the type of man to object that his lover was kissing him after a painful week of celibacy? Perish the thought. If Naruto wanted it then it was his duty as the one who would be the only one banging the blonde to make sure he _never _felt neglected. Would you call Sasuke overeager? Of course not, he just took pride in his work.

He was overeager.

Then again, if those nails down his bare back were any indication, so was Naruto.

When did Sasuke lose his shirt? Where the hell were his pajama pants? When did Naruto get naked? Not that Sasuke was complaining. He wasn't the type to complain when his lover was offering sex before breakfast. Sasuke allowed Naruto to climb onto his stomach where Naruto bent down to kiss Sasuke hungrily; Sasuke found the hem of his own boxers and slid them off. He really had missed the best part of this what with thinking and all. He should do that less often.

Naruto bucked his hips hungrily into Sasuke's, letting out a throaty cry as he ground into the brunette. As Sasuke raised an eyebrow Naruto grinned, he felt something in the back of his mind stir a bit, but at the moment he didn't care.

The Kyuubi yawned and stretched as it woke up from its' two week and two day nap. It had expected to wake up to the two of them doing something like this but it didn't think Naruto would feel so desperate. To his knowledge Sasuke hadn't been given a mission, and if he had been more then likely he would have been on a team with the blonde. So if Sasuke hadn't gone anywhere why was Naruto like this? This was clearly mate-withdrawal clinginess, but how?

"Maybe I should sleep… on the sofa more often." Sasuke grinned. "If this is what I'm going to get when I get back, I'll grit my teeth and bear it." If the demon fox had hands it would have smacked one to it's forehead. If it had a corporeal wall and body it would have tried to smash its' head into the wall. Why, why was the boy so stupid! It was only April and while spring was winding slowly down, demon Kitsune… that stupid little idiot. Both of them! What was that brunette talking about? Depriving Naruto was unhealthy!

Naruto's hands possessed minds of their own. They ran themselves up and down Sasuke's chest, and fisted Sasuke's cock and massaged his balls. Naruto's hands wandered all over his own body with his eyes closed, as though the blonde was imagining the brunette touching him. He moaned softly as three fingers slipped into his mouth and he began to suck on them hungrily, Sasuke's eyes grew wider and wider as he watched Naruto prepare himself with his own fingers on Sasuke's lap. Sasuke wasn't even doing anything and he already felt like he could cum with just the visual!

Naruto positioned himself and slid down Sasuke's almost painful erection, Naruto was holding himself up with his hands on Sasuke's chest. Sasuke, unable to not participate any longer grabbed Naruto's hips roughly and tried to find that one spot that Naruto loved. The low scream that tore from Naruto's throat told he had found it. He angled himself so he would hit that spot every time, Sasuke thrust up into Naruto in time with Naruto's movements.

Sasuke grabbed Naruto's neglected cock and pumped it in rhythm with their movements. Sasuke came hard inside of Naruto and Naruto came a split second later, soiling the sheets and showering Sasuke, not that Sasuke particularly minded, he was still riding out his orgasm at the moment.

Naruto collapsed onto Sasuke's chest breathing hard. Naruto pulled his hips away from Sasuke's, and looked Sasuke in the face with much more control and calm for someone who had just had sex for the first time in a week of celibacy.

"It's good to know that he's at least chosen a mate that is appealing to look at." Naruto said in a low voice, his voice wasn't different, but his pitch was much lower then Naruto's usual melodic tones.

"What the?" Sasuke pulled himself out from under Naruto and covered himself with a blanket. Somehow he knew that this wasn't Naruto.

"Have you left Naruto alone for a long time recently, Uchiha boy?" Kyuubi asked, taking advantage of Naruto's temporary loss of consciousness.

"You're.." Sasuke broke off. He knew who this was, but wasn't the Kyuubi supposed to be sealed?

"Yes, yes! Now answer me! Did you leave Naruto alone for a long time?" the Kyuubi said irritably.

"No. we haven't been having sex but I-" Sasuke was cut off.

"What?" The Kyuubi half shouted, "Naruto's season just started! He's going to need you for the next four months at least! You can't just leave him alone like that! It's not healthy!" the Kyuubi ran Naruto's hands through Naruto's hair in frustration.

"Why the hell are you yelling at me?" Sasuke shouted back, not liking being treated like a child that didn't know anything. Which to the Kyuubi, he was. "Naruto was the one who said I couldn't touch him! Wait, I thought spring was about halfway through, why would Naruto's season have just started?"

"Because he just found his mate. Idiot. Idiot! The both of you are idiots! You can't let Naruto get too clingy to you! The chemical rushes and imbalances aren't healthy for his system. You have to make sure that he's given plenty of attention and even more during the next four months." The Kyuubi crossed Naruto's arms over the boy's bare chest, "I can't believe I actually have to tell you these things!"

The Kyuubi sighed, "You two are such uneducated cubs. Do I have to spell out all the rules for you two? Don't leave Naruto alone during his season. When he's not in heat it's ok to leave him alone for a little while but don't push it. Now, Naruto's a boy so I don't think you will have to worry abut a litter of your own but…"

Sasuke tensed, "but what?"

"But don't count on that! You never know..." The Kyuubi trailed off. Sasuke raised an eyebrow, "Hey, demon fox, are you a girl?"

Naruto bristled and it was clear that the Kyuubi took offense to the statement. "Demons are not barred by gender like humans. We are androgynous." the Kyuubi said proudly.

"Oh," Sasuke contemplated this for a moment. "Is that why you're so comfortable with this relationship?"

The Kyuubi scratched behind Naruto's ear with one hand in a very catlike motion. "I suppose so. Demon's are fewer in the world so we try to mate and produce as much offspring as possible to keep the species going. We just evolved that way."

Sasuke threw his arms over his eyes, "Great my boyfriend is possessed by a bisexual demon with a parent complex." they were both silent for a bit. "Hey Kyuubi, do me a favor and never ever do this again, especially after Naruto and I are..." Sasuke trailed off, it was awkward to talk to this demon.

"Having sex? No problem. It's not like I wanted to wake up to the two of you doing this. But I left such reservations behind me when Naruto found his mate, namely you." Kyuubi folded Naruto's arms again. It wanted nothing more then to retreat back to it's nice simple corner of Naruto's mind, even with a humans' diminished sense of smell he could smell the heavy scent of recent sex.

"Let me lay out some rules for you. Kitsune mate for life, they depend on their mates, they support each other when cubs are born. Demon's are rare and try to reproduce as much as possible to keep from dying out. So don't ever abandon Naruto during his first, and for good measure, second seasons in heat. If I catch you sleeping on the couch on purpose just so you can have better sex after the wait I'll throttle you. Naruto's new to his season and will be sensitive to time together and time apart. Mind you not everything is about sex. You have to support his emotional side as well. Naruto loves you in a way that is highly dangerous to humans, he loves you unconditionally. I hope you're ready for that kind of relationship."

Sasuke digested this. And as he did so the Kyuubi bit lightly into Naruto's left thumb and tasted salt, "Then again, Naruto is rather young. And his human hormones haven't settled in the slightest. So sex might be more prominent then usual. If not sex at least stimulate Naruto, he seems to like the way you, what do you humans call it? Kiss? He needs the proper chemicals flowing in his system to support being in heat. What is the premise of kissing anyways? What do you humans see in it?"

Sasuke stared at the Kyuubi as he broke of into a string of half muttered and unintelligible side comments. He really was starting to feel the awkwardness of the situation now that the shock of his-lover's-body-being-taken-over-by-the-demon-within-him-after-a-moment-of-passion had worn off.

"Right." Sasuke was starting to want the Kyuubi gone and Naruto back by now. "You've kinda made it clear that we have to go at it like rabbits, loud and clear. Now can you please give me back Naruto."

The Kyuubi bristled, having finally had enough of Sasuke's impudent mouth, then he smirked. "I'm going. I'm going. But before I retreat back to the lovely little corner of Naruto's mind I occupy I think you should know, you got a lot of ... Naruto on your face, you know, it's all white and such." The Kyuubi pointed a finger at Sasuke's face and made a few circles to indicate that it was all over his face.

Sasuke, in spite of himself turned beat red as Naruto fell gently on the pillows, now suddenly asleep. He didn't dare touch his face; he just got out of bed and hurried to the bathroom to run himself a shower.

Scrubbing himself clean, wishing it was so easy to get rid of his blush, Sasuke punched the wall of the shower as the warm water cascaded down his body and he gritted through his teeth, "Stupid, perverted, bisexual demon fox with a parent complex."

**End Chapter 8!**

Jesus Christ, FINALLY!

This chapter gave me so much trouble I got so frustrated, I completely stopped working on it for three months. I had such writers block. If you don't want to wait this long again for an update, I suggest you give me suggestions. **Sakura's coming back soon, tell me how you want her to get her just desserts!**

This Story has been Made into a DOUJINSHI!!!! My best friend Lady Macfluff is drawing it because I can't draw! Go look and comment on my story's Doujin and yell at her to update and post the next frickin' page, cause she won't listen to me anymore! Here's the address, just remove the spaces: www. deviantart. com/ deviation/ 45690288/

Your reviews that kept coming in spurred me to keep writing! They helped me so much to make an effort, Please review so I know I'm not just typing to cyber space.

**Any requests on who should do the disclaimer next? Or does nobody even read the disclaimers anymore?**

I love you all my readers and reviewers!

-Novelist


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